UnSTELLAr Behavior

Do not take this as bragging, but Granddoggy Stella is attending college, according to Good Egg Son and Daughter-in-Law.

Stelllllllllllla!!!!!

This is not a photo of Stella at rest.  This is Stella on search patrol ten seconds before she sees GE Son outside and leaps up to scratch on window in a desperate attempt to get to him, even though she saw him five minutes before.  I don’t mean pawing at window  kind of action,  I’m talking standing on two legs and beating on the window in an impressive Benjamin Braddock imitation. (I love that scene; I’ve watched it four times already.)

Stella is a girl who knows what she wants and goes for it–over, around, or through you.  Stand clear!

Two Christmases ago, Santa dropped puppies down two of our kids’ chimneys– Goldendoodle Ivy went to three grandsons in Atlanta and Weimaraner Stella went to Good Egg Son and Daughter-in-Law (also a Good Egg!)   Two females puppies in the family!

I pictured myself making little tutus and knitting cute doggie sweaters.  I bought pink yarn.

One visit from Stella taught me that she is not a pink sweater dog.  Stella is more of a black leather motorcycle jacket type and incidentally, she could outrun the motorcycle.  The dog is turbo-charged.

Currently, much to the Good Eggs’ chagrin, Stella is canis non grata around here.  She considered our sprinkler system a threat and removed part of it for our safety.  She freed all the oak leaves which had been captured in lawn bags.  She attempted to paw her way through any unopened doors; they still bear her “autograph.”

Goldendoodle Ivy, on the other hand, may like a pink sweater.  After all, she chewed one of the rose-colored sofa cushions in the playroom during her first visit here.  That may indicate a color preference.  You think that didn’t take talent?  She was in her kennel at the time.

Using that same theory, the fact that Stella ate the arm off the Good Egg family sofa may be further proof she’s not into pink.  It was a black leather sofa.

During her first overnight with Daughter-in-Law’s dad, Stella commandeered two steaks left marinating on the kitchen counter and wolfed them down along with some appetizing “sides” which may or may not have been food.   DIL’s dad didn’t get to eat steak that night, but he did see it. . . again and again. . . on his condo carpet. Urp!

Stella is the kind of dog that makes veterinarians begin looking at pricey vacation property.  We believe she may dethrone our Akita, The Late Howard Lee,  as the most expensive dog ever… and he had multiple vets in six states.

A couple of weeks ago, DIL and some of her neighbors met outside with their dogs for a playdate.  Neighbor dog had brought along a favorite toy– one of those 13″ ducks that looks like a rubber chicken, only it’s fuzzy and stuffed.  Stella liked it, so a tug-of-war ensued.

Stella could win a tug-of-war with the Jaws of Life.  It was no contest.

The neighbor called Stella over to take the duck toy away from her.

Nothing doing.  Stella held back.  The woman took a step to retrieve it and the duck disappeared.  Gone!

One big gulp and the entire 13″ duck toy had vanished..

DIL said it happened in seconds.  She ran over and pried Stella’s mouth open.

“All I could see were two orange duck feet down the hatch!” she told me.

The emergency vet fed her a can of wet dog food (I wonder how!) then gave her an injection.  The upshot (a clinical term, of course)  of which was. . . brace yourself for this visual unless you watch Grey’s Anatomy or Miami: CSI!. . .

Foul fowl

The squeaker still worked.

The Good Eggs say that Stella’s three-week college course comes with a lifetime guarantee of good behavior.

All of this is another reminder of why grandparents shouldn’t offer advice.

I’d have suggested reform school.