Weighing In

Congratulations to my fellow North Carolinians.  We managed to eat our way up onto the Top 10 Fattest States list this year.   Last year we were only No. 12, so it took no small effort to heft our fat asses up there.

Having observed my fellow citizens in swimsuits at the beach this summer, I am certain this was no fluke.  We deserved this distinction!

On the other hand,  South Carolina still outweighed us, coming in at No. 9,  even after they tightened their belts four notches.  Last year they were No. 5.  That seems to indicate that some of them really were hiking the Appalachian Trail last year while the rest were eating boiled peanuts and she-crab soup.

Mississippi and Alabama are the reigning champs, holding fast to the first and second spots to edge out their neighbors once again.  Southern states dominate the list.  Anyone needing to put on a few pounds might find I-69 and I-81 from New Orleans to Baltimore a trip worth taking.

Maybe we can’t educate, but we sure can masticate.

It seems just plain wrong, though, that Wisconsin didn’t make the Top 10 after adding Krispy Kreme cheeseburgers to the State Fair menu last year.  Maybe next year, Cheeseheads.

Georgia dropped from 14 to 17,  an amazing feat with Paula Deen restauranting, magazining, teeveeing, and advertising calories galore non-stop.  If the pounds she’s passed along were money, we’d all be rich.

Oregon shrank 10 spots.  Amazing!   Could anything short of mass exodus do that?  Nike is headquartered there.  Maybe they said “Just DO it” and everybody did.

If you’re going to New England and are sensitive about your weight, eat and go to the bathroom in Pennsylvania and don’t get out of the car again until you get to Maine.  (You can stop in New York if you’re desperate, I suppose.)

Colorado was No. 51, the leanest state.  It took me awhile to see how they managed that.  I don’t mean diet-wise, but where that extra state came into play.  Seems the measuring committee included the District of Columbia on the list.  DC came in at No. 49.  Members of Congress must have emptied their pockets before they weighed in.

Colorado looks pretty skinny on the map and I think I know why.

New Englanders eat fish and chips and clam chowder, NC folks eat barbecue, Virginians love their ham, and Cajun food is big in Louisiana.   So what do Coloradans eat?  I did a little research and two foods popped up on several sites:

Green chili rellenos smothered with green chili (which probably runs through like the Colorado River) and Rocky Mountain Oysters.

Just how badly do you want to be thin?

21 thoughts on “Weighing In

  1. LOL, funny, I would’ve thought the northern states – Minnesota, North Dakota and South Dakota would’ve scored higher than they did on the “fluffy” side! I’m in ND, and with winters the way they are up here, you need a little “extra insulation” to make it.

  2. Hey, don’t forget me in TN, we tied for second! What an honor. Though I am not surprised, we ate out last night and seriously about 3/4 of the restaurant was very overweight.

    1. Any state that puts fried peanut butter and banana sandwiches on menus is serious about its ranking. Thanks for pointing out your status! All those Elvis impersonators can’t be taken lightly…really!

  3. Well, our county fair is next week here in central Texas, so I imagine our score will jump a few points, what with all the funnel cakes, beer and barbeque sold by the pound they’ll be offering.

    1. i can see it now… beer in a funnel cake with a pound of barbecue.

      Do you think your rating was skewed because so many Texas politicians are full of hot air, they did not weigh fully on the scales? Either that or the heat–lard melts.

  4. Julie

    Thank you, Mary, for another blog entry that truly is prime, choice, and the cream of the crop! Making myself hungry. I better go snack on something and help Georgia regain our old rating!

    1. With all of the recipes you’ve amassed, you and your friends could put Georgia on top with one sample bake sale. I can see y’all now, under an umbrella in the Wal-mart parking lot…

  5. Congratulations. But before you pat yourselves on the bellies, I think the someone paid off the statisticians.

    Illinois has to be fatter than this….I’m from Texas and even with funnel cake, beer and bq..they don’t have months of zero below cookie, stew making weather…no offense @ Texas Trailer Park Trash.

    Illinois just can not be this thin. Colorado well, if you have to be thin… Green chili rellenos smothered with green chili are not a bad way to go.

  6. I hate to correct you, Mary Lee, but we Coloradans do not stay thin due to Green Chile or RMO consumption. IT’S THE BOOZE, BABY!!!

    Colorado has the dubious honor of being not only the slimmest state, but the drunkest. Coincidence? I think not.

    Set up your Everclear Drinking Fountain pronto.

  7. cw

    Gawd, who picked the colors for that map? That pepto bismol pink is enough to make one….. well, the whole thing is just tasteless!! :):)
    Aren’t hot peppers suppose to help lose weight – maybe they have a winner there in CO with that green chili, etc etc. I saw an ad for a child’s small trampoline with a safety handle – the idea? Jump on it while they watch tv! I’m sure it’s healthy, but somehow there just seems to be something wrong ‘with that picture’! Another great post, MzMerrilyMaryLee!!:):)

  8. This post is my very favorite so far! (Please, please re-post you-know-where.) The quotable lines…count ’em, folks!

    The problem we Southerners have is that, for at least four months out of the year, it is so unbearably hot and humid, we don’t want to MOVE! And we still cling stubbornly to outdated things like the Confederate flag and fatback in our greens.

  9. Your take on these latest stats are hilarious MaryLee… not, however, hilarious that we Americans are so overweight. I’ll bet the reason Colorado is the leanest is because the green chili rellenos they eat so much of makes you run like the Colorado River and I don’t mean using Nikes.

  10. Isn’t it wonderful what you can accomplish when you apply your self? It took real dedication to jump that many places.
    Thank God for Mississippi. They keep Arkansas off the top of most lists.
    Really cute post as always..

  11. I am really curious to know how they came up with these statistics. Do they have people walking around with tape measuring people’s waists? Do they collect bathroom scale stats….your scale surreptitiously sends secret messages?

  12. I am not surprised by Colorado being the thinnest. Mile High city right? So it could be the matter of not being to walk and breathe at the same time. A lot of people may have moved out just to survive! LOL. Like you I am surprised by the Midwestern states low scoring… Krispy Kreme cheeseburgers??!! See you later!

  13. I was so happy to see me and the Boss represented in the Georgia obesity poll…..we worked on that all year….we did stop eating Krystal burgers but did cheat with a few trips to White Castle when we were up in Jersey…and you really do want to drive from Penn. to Maine without stopping because the rest stops/McDonalds on the Connecticut Pike are too disgusting for words….Connecticut you should be ashamed of yourself!!

  14. Wow! Go Georgia! Can’t believe our waistbands are a little looser – not with all the Krispy Cremes and Sonics and Mickey Ds I still see popping up everywhere!

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