Congratulations to my fellow North Carolinians. We managed to eat our way up onto the Top 10 Fattest States list this year. Last year we were only No. 12, so it took no small effort to heft our fat asses up there.
Having observed my fellow citizens in swimsuits at the beach this summer, I am certain this was no fluke. We deserved this distinction!
On the other hand, South Carolina still outweighed us, coming in at No. 9, even after they tightened their belts four notches. Last year they were No. 5. That seems to indicate that some of them really were hiking the Appalachian Trail last year while the rest were eating boiled peanuts and she-crab soup.
Mississippi and Alabama are the reigning champs, holding fast to the first and second spots to edge out their neighbors once again. Southern states dominate the list. Anyone needing to put on a few pounds might find I-69 and I-81 from New Orleans to Baltimore a trip worth taking.
Maybe we can’t educate, but we sure can masticate.
It seems just plain wrong, though, that Wisconsin didn’t make the Top 10 after adding Krispy Kreme cheeseburgers to the State Fair menu last year. Maybe next year, Cheeseheads.
Georgia dropped from 14 to 17, an amazing feat with Paula Deen restauranting, magazining, teeveeing, and advertising calories galore non-stop. If the pounds she’s passed along were money, we’d all be rich.
Oregon shrank 10 spots. Amazing! Could anything short of mass exodus do that? Nike is headquartered there. Maybe they said “Just DO it” and everybody did.
If you’re going to New England and are sensitive about your weight, eat and go to the bathroom in Pennsylvania and don’t get out of the car again until you get to Maine. (You can stop in New York if you’re desperate, I suppose.)
Colorado was No. 51, the leanest state. It took me awhile to see how they managed that. I don’t mean diet-wise, but where that extra state came into play. Seems the measuring committee included the District of Columbia on the list. DC came in at No. 49. Members of Congress must have emptied their pockets before they weighed in.
Colorado looks pretty skinny on the map and I think I know why.
New Englanders eat fish and chips and clam chowder, NC folks eat barbecue, Virginians love their ham, and Cajun food is big in Louisiana. So what do Coloradans eat? I did a little research and two foods popped up on several sites:
Green chili rellenos smothered with green chili (which probably runs through like the Colorado River) and Rocky Mountain Oysters.
Just how badly do you want to be thin?