Ch-Ch-Change. . .

One of my most annoying habits (please, Family,  I’m not asking for a list here!) is giving unsolicited advice.  Just can’t stop myself from throwing in my two cents worth.  I should wear a t-shirt giving advice about my advice:

Don’t take it.

A couple of weeks ago we drove down to Charleston.  That’s in South Carolina.  We live in Charlotte, North Carolina.  There is also a Charlottesville, Virginia and a Charlestown,  West Virginia and (why, I don’t know) a Charles Town, West Virginia.  That CH- factor confuses people in other parts of the country.

Charlotte PR folks don’t like to see NC after the name of the city, thinking it can stand alone like London. . . Chicago. . . Tokyo.   That uppity attitude happened about the time the city got a pro basketball team, the Hornets,  which subsequently got mad and buzzed off  to New Orleans.   I wish they’d left the name behind though because it had some historical significance to the area.

Hmmm.  Another bad habit of mine–I don’t stay on the subject.  I’m getting to the point though.

On that drive from Charlotte to Charleston and back, we noticed that SC is looking a little under the weather.   We’ve had more rain than usual this summer so the kudzu vines, which normally grow about a foot a day, spread closer to two feet a day this time of year.   It isn’t just kudzu; other weeds, too, are growing like. . . well, WEEDS.   The reason I mention that is that they aren’t getting mowed along some South Carolina highways and someone needs to get to it before the ragweed starts blowing.

Both Carolinas sometimes do plantings in the interstate highway medians but I suppose budget cuts curtailed that.  South Carolina’s bright crimson clover used to ripple like the back-brushed hair of a dog as cars and trucks sped by.  This trip, there were a few plantings and manicured areas near the towns, but head-high dog fennel weeds towered over the median canna plantings and the highway shoulders looked surprisingly scraggly.

These are interstate roads–federal highways all the way.  I think those are state maintained, although the feds contribute to upkeep.  I hate to tattle, but somebody’s not keeping up.

Since he spent time flying when he should have kept his feet on the ground, perhaps SC Governor Mark Sanford has not noticed.   He has had other things on his mind; just yesterday the Lt. Governor called upon him to resign. Sanford refused.

I think a little penance is in order and that’s where my advice comes in.

I’m not an expert on doing penance  (although I do have a college of cardinals in my fig bush) but I don’t think his current plan of going around to Rotary Clubs to make speeches is the way to go about it.  I’m thinking that if he got on one of those big state-owned tractor mowers and cut a swath from the NC/SC state line to Charleston, THAT would be making a statement to the people of his state, as well as help to reimburse them for the flights he took on the state’s nickel.  If he still wants to ride in and stop at the Rotary Clubs along the way to have lunch and give a speech, that would be okay, too.

He’s a pretty poetic guy, so he could come up with a sign to put on the back, like, “I should have let the grass grow under MY feet, not yours.”  Or “I’m mowing now because I cut out on you earlier.”

I can picture the scene now:  Mown sliver, wider than a mile. . .

More advice, Gov’nur:  Don’t be going off the shoulder for bathroom breaks.  It isn’t a matter of, “If a Governor sh—ts in the woods and nobody sees. . . ”  Too late for that.  We saw.

It’s that even if the court of public opinion doesn’t get you, the kudzu might.