Hot Damn! Hot Dog!

My Dearly Beloved hates malls.  You and I have discussed this before.  His mall trauma has, until recently, paled in comparison to his Big Box store phobia.  I’ve always gone alone to those because it wasn’t worth the effort of having to call Security to strap him onto a dolly for me to get him inside.  It leaves so little room for purchases.

Costco is his worst nightmare.

We aren’t bulk buyers since it’s just the two of us.  I  joined Costco mainly for the  pharmacy.  My prescription not covered by insurance is about 40% less there.   One trip paid the membership.  (I recently read on Facebook that they make most of their profits on membership fees and break even on most of the merchandise. Must be true with such a stellar source, right?)

But I digress.  Tuesday, it was time for another Costco pharmacy run.  DB came willingly, along with my assurance that I had no long list.  (He agrees that I shouldn’t need to depend on the kindness of strangers when I struggle with heavy items, so he has gone with me several times now.  He’s even dropped the whimpers and martyr face.  His sighs are much softer.)  

Once in the store though, he assumes Old Fart Costco Cart Shuffle position: stooped over the cart, elbows leaning on the cart handle.  Thinking that he might enjoy looking at gardening supplies, I suggested that he head there while I dropped off my prescription for the (gulp!) coming colonoscopy prep.

Silly me.  He wasn’t even browsing.  He’d parked on the right side of the main aisle, phone in hand, looking like he was calling Roadside Assistance.  I longed for a broomstick prod.

We cruised the wine aisles and he showed enough interest to select a few bottles.  Although he’d told me that we didn’t need birdseed, when he saw the price, he stuck a bag under the cart.  Now see, THAT’S why I needed him.  Had I tried that, I would have gotten stuck in bent-over position and needed EMT assistance.  I hate for that to happen when I have frozen items in the cart.

Let me pause here to say that I bought box of authentic Moravian Meyer Lemon Cookies. . .   delightful!!!  DB chose the coffees and his own snacks, but gasped when he saw the price of toilet tissue.   He suggested that we put some of our food items back so that we’d have need of fewer rolls.   Always a thinker, that man.

He was thrilled when we checked out for less than $200 and thought we should lunch there to celebrate.  Call me a snob, but I have never had a yen to try the  Costco food court;  I did a bit of whimpering myself.  Nevertheless, I agreed.  He went to find a table and I got in line to buy him a hotdog.

My order was a hot dog, two drinks, and some kind of barbecued beef sandwich for me.  When I took it to our table, DB asked how much the spread had cost.


He was ecstatic!  He loaded his hot dog with their relish, onions, and mustard and wolfed it down. . . with relish of his own.   For the next 24 hours, he kept telling me how good it had been and no, he assured me, he was not still tasting it.

Today I need to go to Lowe’s to buy soil conditioner.  My man is going to help me load the heavy bags in the station wagon.  He’s offered to buy lunch afterwards at his new favorite, intimate cafe:

La Petit Costco.

(OOPS: My friend Beanie, who taught French, says that it should be Le Petit Costco or La Petite Costco, so pardon my French.  As North Carolina is already deep into transgender hysteria, I wish to offend no one.  Choose whichever you’re comfortable with. . . and let everyone else do the same.)  



9 thoughts on “Hot Damn! Hot Dog!

  1. We are big Cosco fans—the prices, the selection, the SAMPLES, and while it will never be my first choice for a lunch out, the prices can’t be beat and the food is better than usual food court fare. My beef—no coke. I buy in bulk with other friends. There are only two of us and only two of my BIL and SIL. . .it works. But I never share my tp or paper towel.
    My mom swears my dad would take her on vacation to Costco if she would only see it his way. Don’t think it will happen.

    1. Yes, I’ll bet I get the same beef sandwich you do. I wish they carried coke–it’s all pepsi here.

      Your mother is a wise, wise woman. But your dad is awfully cute. 🙂

  2. Arkansas Patti

    Sounds like you are making a believer out of DB. Never had the pleasure of Costco but use to love Sam’s–same difference– and did love their hot dogs. Interesting about their Rx prices. Sure could use a break there.

    1. Yes, the Rx prices are definitely lower, but I’ve never been able to walk out with just my prescription. They even had heart worm pills for pets in their pharmacy. Never checked those prices though.

  3. We don’t have a Costco anywhere near us but I did have the pleasure of going to one with my son when I was in California the last time I was out there. It is a bit overwhelming if you’re not used to it. The vast array of selections boggles the mind. I felt like someone who just came from a third world country where they have just one kind of everything. The walk-in frozen food room was an eye-opener. If you were going to spend any length of time in there you needed to wear a parka, gloves, and a fur hat.

    1. You’re right. I rarely go in there for just that reason. I can’t take a chance that the person ahead of me isn’t going to block the aisle for 10 minutes–surely long enough for me to get frostbitten.

  4. Apparently DB did not quite understand what prescriptions you were picking up. No matter what you put back, you’re surely going to need more, not fewer rolls of toilet tissue.

    1. Nope. Not even a lucky guess. You said the prescription was for an upcoming colonoscopy prep. And all of them mean you’re likely to need a supply of toilet tissue. 🙂

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