The Damnsquirrels’ Revenge

When my brother told me to be expecting a package on the Friday before Thanksgiving, I was curious, yet a bit apprehensive.

Years ago, he wrote, “I am going to send you a deer tenderloin.”  I panicked for days, worrying that I hadn’t sent my “NO THANKS!”  fast enough to prevent a chunk of Bambi from being delivered to my front door.  (Yes, deer diners, I’m sure it’s tasty.) 

He gives lovely gifts when he wants to, so this time could either be a wonderful surprise. . . or it could be another banana keychain.   He had e-mailed my Youngest Daughter that  I needed to broaden my sense of humor and he was going to help me.

Reason enough to worry.

A large box arrived on Friday, just as he’d said.  I opened it hesitantly, lest some animal be among the contents.

Indeed, that is exactly what it was,  just not in a form I expected.

There was this:

And these:


Also, a squirrel on a gold chain.

It was a fascinating collection.  How long did it take my brother to assemble that squirrely gift?!?

I have placed the pillows on the swing on the screened porch.  They stare at me through the French doors when I sit in the sunroom.  I can’t help but stare back, wondering what  telepathic message they’re trying to send me.  Look at those eyes!

The enameled box sits on the end table here beside me.

Gawd help me, I even wore the necklace when my brother was here for Thanksgiving.

(Note to self:  Inform family that upon my demise, they are NOT to bury me wearing that necklace.) 

I want one of THEM to have it.

My sense of humor, I think, is broader already.













8 thoughts on “The Damnsquirrels’ Revenge

  1. Jeannie Rudman

    As always Mary this made me LOL. Good ending, you wouldn’t want to be buried with that necklace – but you might have Melanie fighting over it.

  2. ncmountainwoman

    Three years ago our son sent a stuffie squirrel for the dog and two squirrel candle holders for me. Two years ago our son sent me a ceramic squirrel. Last year it was a squirrel pillow. Guess we both have a few smarta**es in the family.

  3. OMG. I had no idea you collected squirrels! I thought they were the bane of your existence. Now I realize I had it all wrong! Damnsquirrels’ is a term of endearment! I’m sure the collection that Bro Joe so thoughtfully added to can be nurtured….see ya.

  4. I’m about as enthusiastic about squirrels as you are and as I recall, there is no love lost between you and the tree rats. I DON’T collect squirrels. I repeat. . . I DON’T collect squirrels. I used to know a woman who had a frog on a shelf because she thought it was cute and she ended up with so much frog paraphernalia that she had to dedicate a room in her house to the croakers. So easy for everyone: oh look, she collects frogs. That’s what I’ll give her for her birthday. . . or Christmas… or Mother’s Day. I already have a HERD of the little bastards in my back yard.

    I may have nightmares, KB!

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