Oh, Say Where You Pee. . . .

Help me out here.

I’ve already taken my blog to the toilet lately, so while we’re talking under the stalls, maybe you can enlighten me about something.   Not that I’m trying to call the grammar police, I’m simply trying to get out of the Twilight Zone.

Everyone else is already on the bandwagon and I’m still standing by the side of the road, scratching.  It would be one thing if I had noticed things evolving over time, but no, it’s more like someone sent out a memo and something ate my copy of it.  Probably the damnsquirrels.

Brave Nancy Drew didn’t, of course,  but I remember that when things were very scary or very funny, the rest of us almost peed in our pants.  That doesn’t happen any longer.

Now, by unanimous consent,  people simply pee their pants, not pee in them.  Here, I get a mental picture of a pair of underpants sitting on a potty seat.  If something is super-scary,  people don’t worry that they’ll poop in their pants.  Nope.  They poop them.   Seriously, the picture that comes to mind is that pooping one’s granny pants would be painful.   Besides, I think it would clog the plumbing.

We don’t graduate from high school these days.  We graduate it.  So, does high school go off to college at that point?

It used to be that one played golf.  Now they simply “golf.”  (Dearly Beloved’s theory is that anyone who “golfs”. . . shouldn’t be out there.)  Will people “soccer” and “basketball” before long?   Could be.  One doesn’t play bowling, one bowls.

People aren’t “in the hospital” any longer.  They’re “in hospital.”  I think that’s from the Brits.  Remember when “runways” were commonplace until a European reporter said the word, “tarmac.”   Pouf!  The word runway disappeared.

It isn’t just language that has left me in the dust.  I’m in the dust bunnies now, too.  For instance, several months ago, The New York Times had an article that bedskirts are passé.  Not falling out of favor, but kaput!  Passé!  Not pencil skirts or miniskirts, but bedskirts.  What is the logic there?   Where I am supposed to put all the out-of-season sweaters and any too-small pencil skirts stored under ours?   Here, I got the memo, but I don’t “get” it.

photo photo

Passé we are.  Up one side of the hall and down the other– all four bedrooms.  Don’t lift my skirts–please!

And the bacon memos!  Do you receive those?  After decades of being told that bacon is bad for us, suddenly it’s appearing in everything from aperitifs to desserts.  Did I miss a memo about the previously overlooked health benefits of bacon?   Or is it that being bad is good?  sigh.

When I asked DB these questions, I could tell that he was thinking that perhaps I missed another memo–the “get a life!” one.   He’s right.  I’m missing too many memos.

Better text me.


9 thoughts on “Oh, Say Where You Pee. . . .

  1. Oh, Mary dear, I, too, am totally bewildered by this peculiar “shorthand” which has happened to our language. When, indeed, did students begin to “graduate high school” instead of FROM high school? I suspect it is part of the same f*#king distortion of language which has happened over the years of going to acronyms for everything from medical language to businesses to text message shorthand. I mean, when I was in nursing, we had only a few medical abbreviations like CVA (cardio vascular accident) or CPR (cardiopulmonary resuscitation). Now every possible condition/disease/syndrome is reduced to initials about whose meaning most of us have no earthly idea. Part of the whole “hurry, hurry” syndrome, I suspect… never enough time (though we have the same twenty-four hours humans have always had). Must admit I’m baffled and befuddled.

  2. ncmountainwoman

    Well, I am one who has always said, “peed my pants.” I think part of the reason is that the pee does not stay IN the pants but tends to spread all over. If you peed in your pants it should stay there. If you peed your pants the pee is free to spread around. It’s also a remnant of little ones in diapers. You always ask them, “did you wet your diaper” not “did you wet in your diaper.”

    Bed skirts are a pain but I’ll keep using them. Otherwise the beds are quite unattractive except for those very high Victorian ones you need a step ladder to get into.

    Thanks for giving us more to think about than the Duggars, the Kardashians, or Honey Boo Boo.

  3. I have a few beds in my guest rooms that do not need bed skirt as the beds have low bedframes, but I certainly have one for my bed! 😉

    Everything seems to be getting abbreviated and dumbed down in this # world!

  4. My Hero is on the same page as your Dearly Beloved. Golf is not a verb.

    Regarding bedskirts: I’ve gotten by without a bedskirt by using the extremely old fashioned thing called a BEDSPREAD- remember those? (They go all the way to the floor.) We recently upgraded to a King size bed and I am in a quandary. I don’t like fussing with a bedskirt, but we clearly need something to cover the space between. What do THEY say we should do if we aren’t supposed to use a bedskirt?????

  5. Billy

    I am probably passé, and I do golf. But, as an old Navy pilot, I can assure you that runways are still there. The tarmac is where we park the planes.

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