Our chandelier is too large for our dining room. I found it in an antiques store back when we had a 12-foot ceiling and a dining room table that could seat 12. I loved it because the candles are full-size.
We never got around to hanging it then. Now it dominates our present dining room–a small area with an eight-foot ceiling and a round dining table with a heavy glass top which seats six.
We’ve had it up for 12 years and all that time I’ve felt it was hanging too low. If I made a centerpiece of any significance, there was only a small window of space between the chandelier and the centerpiece for us to see each other. Once I mentioned to my Dearly Beloved that I’d like the chain to be shorter, never dreaming that he’d attempt it. It seemed like a job for an electrician to me. Nevertheless, weeks–maybe months–later, he brought in the ladder one morning, pushed the table aside, and started working on the chain.
The fixture is very heavy, so he enlisted my help in balancing it on the ladder while he took out a few of the links. Success! He pulled the table back in place so that it was centered under the light.. Much better. That gave us a few more inches of visual clearance for conversations at all the dinner parties we never have.
I was folding laundry when I heard a great CRASH, followed instantly by sounds of breaking glass and pieces of metal rolling on the hardwood floor. Then there was dead quiet.
I rushed to the dining room and found DB standing by the table in utter shock, looking up at the dangling wires in the space where chandelier had been hanging. The fixture was lying mostly on the rug, after its bounce off the table. (You know, the one with the glass top. . . . )
Db shook his head sorrowfully. “I was one second from getting it fixed.”
I’d thought it WAS fixed, but no, he hadn’t liked the angle of one of the links. He’d decided to fix it to his satisfaction which meant undoing it–just for a second. Now he has proven, without any doubt, that a chandelier will not levitate–not even for one second.
The serviceman who was here working on our heating system came in at that moment to tell us he was finished. His wide eyes took in the ladder and the shattered fixture, then each of us. “I’ll just let myself out,” he said, backing out of the room.
Dearly Beloved called after him, “I’ll have this thing fixed in no time!”
Amazingly, he did exactly that. He straightened the bent arms, rewired it, reassembled the candles, replaced the shattered bulbs. He called upon my muscles again to help hold it in place on the ladder while he hung it again, minus a few more links.
He immediately disassociated himself from that crashy/hangy part. He blamed it on The Jackass, that character who shows up for any chores that DB dislikes, then does a sloppy job of them. (You may remember that it’s The Jackass who empties the dishwasher, but doesn’t puts things away properly.)
Anyhow, that sucker has been holding steady since before Thanksgiving. We haven’t eaten under it, however. One day we may ask for volunteers brave enough to have dinner with us in our dining room.
I’m pretty sure that the heating guy won’t be raising his hand.