Monday night my Dearly Beloved asked had I ever slept with a 71-year-old man.
Umm, that would be a definite NO.
Well, starting tomorrow night, you’re going to.
Turns out he was wrong about that. WHY is a convoluted story:
One of the good things about living in Charlotte is that one can think “beach” or “mountains” and reach either in two to four hours. For years, we always headed to the coast since we had a house there, but the mountains have been calling us lately and we went twice in one week.
The first time we went to Waynesville, a sweet town just beyond Asheville. We stayed at an inn on a golf course. One sunny day, one cloudy day, and both were lovely.
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DB went to a junior college the first two years of his college education. He’s mentioned driving up to see it several times, so when his class announced their 50th reunion, he decided it would be a good time to attend. Two of the girls he went to high school with were also going. We made reservations for the four of us at an old farmhouse B&B.
The football practice field was now the soccer practice field, but the mountains beyond were the same. It was easy to see why he’d loved this place.
All three of them were horrified to see that the nearby diner was now a service station. I was horrified to see that we were too early for the wooly worms, since there wasn’t much else to do around there.
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There was a women’s clothing store with lovely things in the windows and a huge SALE sign, but it was closed. Turned out that the SALE was the store, not the merchandise.
So we walked around the campus until time for their reunion party that night–which is getting around to explaining why I’m not sleeping with a 71-year-old man.
I have mentioned before that DB considers himself to have been a very good shag dancer in high school. Do watch a bit of this video link to see how popular it The Shag was back then.
Now picture it still being a favorite of the 50th year reunion attendees.
(There are plenty of Learn to Shag videos on the internet now. DB says to plan to spend time practicing with the closet doorknob or the bedpost if you try it.)
For the first time, we had a chance to slow dance together in his college environs. Then, at my urging, he did a couple of shag dances with his old schoolmates. When he felt some early creaks and pains, he thought it was because he was just getting warmed up. It was his Double-back Suzy move in the second dance that wiped him out completely. They laughed while they were dancing, but by the time we arrived home the next day, his back and knee were assuring him that it was the pain that had been doing the warmup.
Since he must lie in careful corpse position, he’s sleeping alone until it gets better. His birthday has come and gone with only the dog by his side. . . and she’s on her own bed. So no, I’ve never slept with a 71-year-old man, but I’m willing.
DB now considers himself a “recovering, former shagger.” That’s okay with me.
The slow dances are still all mine.
His favorite dance quote:
“If a man doesn’t know how to dance he doesn’t know how to make love, there I said it!
–Craig Ferguson
My favorite:
“When you do dance, I wish you
A wave o’ the sea, that you might ever do
Nothing but that.”
– William Shakespeare
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Watching the video made me want to learn. And then I read the rest of this post. Hope DB feels better soon!
And I just bet DB’s Last Shag was a memorable performance! Too bad THAT wasn’t captured on video.
One of the everlasting regrets of my life is that I grew up in a conservative church tradition that thought dancing was the Devil’s invention. So I never learned. There is something of muscle memory to dancing. You don’t learn it–your body just does it because it has always done it.
Now, however, you have given me a reason to not feel so bad–the shag. Well, frankly, grown men (and women) look silly doing it. There, I said it.
There is one more thing to do in Banner Elk. They now have a winery. You should have gone there for a tasting before shagging. Might have loosened up the muscles. Wooley worms are fickle. The ones we’ve seen around here are mostly brown (mild winter) while other areas are saying they are mostly black (harsh winter). Hope ours are the better prognosticators.
Well he had a last Shag and that is meaningful! Gorgeous part of the country. What is a wooly worms festival? Do they have worm races?
“Shagedelic, baby, yeah!”—Austin Powers, Man of Mystery
I am a huge fan of watching the shag. I think it is the coolest dance EVER but I haven’t managed it. After it threw DB into sleeping alone, pretty sure I will continue to only watch.
The mind is willing and the body will let you pretend that it is willing too-
Still a fun reunion. I hope he is feeling better and you got your chance to sleep with a 71-year old.
Good lord, you know “shag” has an entirely different meaning in the UK, right? (Here too!) :)))