So yesterday, my Dearly Beloved had an appointment for a physical with his new doctor. DB liked the doctor he had in Wilmington, so he hasn’t had one here until now. Since we sold that house, he needed to find one locally and decided to try mine.
He came out, ready to go, all shaved and spiffy, wearing one of his best shirts, and … JEANS!
“You’re not going to wear jeans to the doctor!”
“I certainly am. These bluejeans are comfortable, they’re clean, and besides, I’m going to take them off as soon as I get there anyway.”
The man didn’t wear jeans for years. I don’t even think he wore them in high school. He claims they were too tight on his thighs because of playing so much football. Years later, our daughters started giving him jeans for his birthday or special occasions in an attempt to make dad cooler.
They’re fine around the house. They’re fine going to the hardware store or the soda shop. But when he’s going for an appointment, I wish he’d wear some of those pants taking up space his closet. What’s he saving them for, anyhow?
An hour later, he called from the car to give me the doctor’s report.
“They wouldn’t examine me.”
“WHAT? Why didn’t you have an examination?”
“The nurse said to tell you that it wasn’t because of the bluejeans. It was because my underwear had a hole in it.”
He’s lying, of course. The nurse DID say that, but only because he told her that I hadn’t wanted him to wear jeans. (“Bluejeans,” as he insists on calling them.) But he did keep his pants on. It turns out this appointment was just to go over lab reports; his physical isn’t until October.
They got along quite well. The nurse asked him the usual general health questions… did he smoke… when was the last time he was hospitalized, etc.
“I just answered all those questions on the forms they gave me to fill out in the waiting room,” he said.
“Oh, nobody reads that stuff,” she told him. “I need to write it on your chart here.”
“Well, then why did I fill out all those forms?”
“That’s to get your blood pressure up.”
I suppose the underwear comment was meant to raise mine.
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