FRYday

The weather report says it’s 105 here right now with a heat index of 118.   If I could teach the dogs to use the toilet, I wouldn’t go outside at all this weekend.  No need to whine about it though; it’s probably hot where you are, too.  And if it isn’t, nobody wants to hear about it.

It isn’t just the heat that’s making me steam.

In fact, I need to say a word about that.

VAGINA.

Furthermore, UTERUS!

You’ve probably heard about Michigan State Rep. Lisa Brown who shocked… shocked, I tell you!… some of her fellow legislators by saying the word vagina during a floor discussion about anti-choice legislation.

Commercials about erectile dysfunction, lubricants, penile implants morning, noon, and night … and uterus and vagina become the impolitic words?  How can I ask this delicately…  why is it only the presumed …um… destination that is unspeakable?

Oh, the irony!  Those of us who grew up with poopies and peepees thought it was a good thing to tell our children the correct name for their own body parts.

How can it be that there are some state legislators– grown-ups— who are offended by the words?  I’d lay odds they couldn’t find a uterus on a female anatomy chart.   And while the word vagina may shock them, I’ll bet that most of the men could come up with at least ten slang terms left over from their adolescent years.   Arrested development.  Pity the spouses.

Are women supposed to be embarrassed?  They’re trying to shame us?

That horse left the barn so long ago that even the glue factory shut down in the 70’s.

How can there possibly be any serious discourse with such ninnies?

So, I’m trying to spread the word.  Words.

Sing along with me.     Vagina… vagina… I’m teaching the word to my mynah.

Try this one:  

Nothing could be finer than to un-legislate our vaginas in the mor-or-or-ning.

Nothing could be more ridiculous than censoring the word uterus in the morning

Where the wing nuts gathered… on the legislative floor…

Demeaning women… we’ve heard it all before.

Honestly, the situation makes me hot to do a bit of name calling myself.  A pox on this bunch of posterior fedoras.  Note the anatomical correctness.

Otherwise, I’d call them asshats.



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21 thoughts on “FRYday

  1. nomad61

    ASSHATS! Lololol….. Lawsy, Woman, the heat sure doesn’t stifle your wit or your wisdom!!
    Hell, I might pull out my hand mirror, bend over and chat with my good friend, Vagina! (Think Fried Green Tomatoes – one of my favorite scenes in a movie!). Lady, you inspire me!! :):):)

  2. Sharon

    Oh! I wanted to be first, because all your readers are SO clever with their comments! I never can compete with that. But, the first thing I thought of, was, that those guys just have a bad case of what Southerners call the “redass”, which causes one to be unreasonably cross and stubborn. Usually, it is not a heat-related condition. And, in their case, seems to be a criteria for their job.

  3. My sincere sympathies on the horrible heat. We had our “summer from Hell” last year. But, noooo, global climate change couldn’t POSSIBLY have anything to do with it.

    I think the first sign of the Apocalypse was when Bob Dole did that commercial for Viagra. It’s all been downhill from there…

  4. I love that term “asshat” Kitchen Witch uses it all the time too. I crack-up every time I see it.

    The “ninnies” drive me nuts…Vagina, Vagina and Vagina again.

  5. Birdie

    The other night at a lovely cocktail party, a gentleman said the word penis. I said, now why is it that you can say that, but saying vagina is not allowed? Of course it is allowed, he said. Ah, but not if you are speaking on the floor of the Michigan house, I said.
    He had not heard of the controversy probably due to the news channel he watches. From this incident I conclude that no male outside of Michigan even knew about the ruckus.
    So sing it again, Merrily, loudly and make the ninnies ask why.

  6. I’m so proud to own a vagina. She’s prettier than a penis, sounds better than penis, and half my brains don’t leak out of her.

  7. Why is anyone paying any attention to the word vagina? Aren’t there more important things on the agenda? They are broke. Get a grip people.
    Detroit is a ghost town.

  8. My Odd Family

    VAGINA…and I have ALL the women (almost ) on Facebook singing…… Nothing could be finer than to un-legislate our vaginas in the mor-or-or-ning.

  9. Arkansas Patti

    We can have dinner hearing about 4 hour erections yet the simple and clinical word vagina shuts down a state legislature?? Yikes. If I could only sing, I’d join you. Mind if I hum along?

    1. Exactly! Honestly, I know there can be health reasons for erectile dysfunction and I’m not dismissing those, but I think OCP’s (Old Coot prescriptions) should require a permission slip for the wife.

      I’m not sure how to determine when one enters Old Coot-hood.

      Feel free to get things humming.

  10. What you need is the ‘Vagina Monologues’, a stage act/play, which has been going for years, performed by different women over the years. It’s probably been performed in every theatre in the land, by famous and no so famous actresses. Nary an eyebrow raised the while.

  11. Priceless. And oh so right on.
    As one of those mothers who insisted that her children never use slang, I wonder who mothered these nincompoop legislators. I am not blaming the mothers, but — please — ! I am stunned at the incredible misogynistic tone in all these discussions. It is so clear that women are being belittled, being disrespected, being put down. And then to have these legislators turn Victorian on us…please.

  12. Really? REALLY? Vagina is not a bad word, morons! Vagina vagina vagina vagina vagina vagina uterus uterus uterus! And a clitoris for good luck. And FALLOPIAN TUBES.

    Asshats!!!!

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