Is That You, Little Susie?

Dearly Beloved says that it rained really hard last night.

I’m taking his word for it.  I was, as usual, sleeping like a rock, so I heard nothing.

DB’s hearing is superhuman.*  An owl would be envious.  No joke… last week at the beach, he was awakened twice by a neighbor’s alarm clock sounding at 3:30 AM, a neighbor not even on our street!  The first night it was music, the second, a buzzing alarm.  Neither was apparently loud enough to wake the intended recipient because it droned on and on before being muted.

Why any neighbor there would need to be awakened at 3:30 in the morning is a mystery, since it is populated mostly by ROFs (Retired Old Farts) who don’t need to wake for anything but their bladders.

In my entire life,  I’ve known only one person who got up every morning at such an ungawdly hour.  About 35 years ago, I worked with a newlywed who vowed that her husband would never see her in curlers, so she set her alarm for 4 AM daily in order to whip her hair into teased and curled perfection before her dreamboat awoke.   He loved her long hair, she explained, and she didn’t want him to see it in disarray.

Although I have no idea how long her good intentions prevailed, this would be my projected timeline:

3 mo.                                6 mo.                        1 year                    first pregnancy

curlers at breakfast        headband                    ponytail                       pixie cut

No head in our neighborhood looks so perfectly coiffed that it would have required a three-hour headstart, so I doubt that any Mrs. Lovely Locks and her man have moved in behind us.

Is there even a remote possibility that some ROF is rising early to pluck his nose hairs, trim his ears, plaster down his eyebrows, and do his scratching before The Little Woman awakens each morning?  Uh uh.  Not even if he’s landed himself a trophy wife.

What could it be?  Only possibility I can think of is that some old dude who sleeps as soundly as I do has figured out a way to hardwire his bladder to his clock radio.

*except during televised sporting events, during which times his ears seal themselves from any outside noise interference while channeling the announcer’s voice directly into his auditory nerves. 

                                                           Roadside wildflowers

Speaking of alarms, I looked at the calendar and realized that I forgot to have DB draw a name yesterday to see who won three of BroJoe’s prints.  They frame beautifully, as you can see by this one BroJoe surprised me with during the summer.   I’d never have had the nerve to try such bodacious colors, but I love it!

The winner?  Why, I’ll be sending three prints to up to Pea’s Corner in Northern Ontario. Carole of Pea’s Corner blog can choose three, tell me what size she’d like, and I’ll have them printed.

Thanks, friends,  for entering and for all the good wishes.  Maybe I’ll do this again in 500 more posts!  (BWAHaahaa!)  

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8 thoughts on “Is That You, Little Susie?

  1. I’m liking that timeline. I was never going to let my husband leave without a good breakfast. Not being a morning person, it didn’t take long for that plan to fizzle. He was soon leaving my bowl of cereal on the counter so that I could enjoy it whenever I awoke. 🙂

  2. I envy DB’s superhuman hearing. Not long ago the stopwatch of my sporty wristwatch had been accidentally set by the grandkids, unbeknownst to me. I was saying my good-byes at my daughter’s after bringing the kids back home when everybody started looking at me with expectant looks on their faces. Finally, my daughter said “I think your eggs are done.” At first I thought she was talking about my non-existent ovaries, but apparently the timer to my watch had gone off and was beeping away and I was the only one who couldn’t hear it. I hate it when that happens.

  3. Tammy

    My husband says I can hear a mouse peeing on cotton. And as far as the alarm for the badder thing I think that sounds like what it must be for. The fact that they did not wake up to turn it off probably was not good for when they did wake up. :-(. I wish I would have known about B J print give away I would have joined. Reason to take the time to read more often. That’s my goal.

  4. The other day someone told me that the tags on her dogs collars woke her at night…I guess this is common but I had an urge to say, “oh get over it” but I suggested tag covers. I don’t have much of a tolerance for noise so I guess it’s a good thing my hearing sucks.
    I do admit to setting my alarm for 4:00am about 4 days a week to get a head start on my day. Love the block of uninterrupted time. I will also admit to napping from 1pm-2:30pm most days.

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