Dearly Beloved says that it rained really hard last night.
I’m taking his word for it. I was, as usual, sleeping like a rock, so I heard nothing.
DB’s hearing is superhuman.* An owl would be envious. No joke… last week at the beach, he was awakened twice by a neighbor’s alarm clock sounding at 3:30 AM, a neighbor not even on our street! The first night it was music, the second, a buzzing alarm. Neither was apparently loud enough to wake the intended recipient because it droned on and on before being muted.
Why any neighbor there would need to be awakened at 3:30 in the morning is a mystery, since it is populated mostly by ROFs (Retired Old Farts) who don’t need to wake for anything but their bladders.
In my entire life, I’ve known only one person who got up every morning at such an ungawdly hour. About 35 years ago, I worked with a newlywed who vowed that her husband would never see her in curlers, so she set her alarm for 4 AM daily in order to whip her hair into teased and curled perfection before her dreamboat awoke. He loved her long hair, she explained, and she didn’t want him to see it in disarray.
Although I have no idea how long her good intentions prevailed, this would be my projected timeline:
3 mo. 6 mo. 1 year first pregnancy
curlers at breakfast headband ponytail pixie cut
No head in our neighborhood looks so perfectly coiffed that it would have required a three-hour headstart, so I doubt that any Mrs. Lovely Locks and her man have moved in behind us.
Is there even a remote possibility that some ROF is rising early to pluck his nose hairs, trim his ears, plaster down his eyebrows, and do his scratching before The Little Woman awakens each morning? Uh uh. Not even if he’s landed himself a trophy wife.
What could it be? Only possibility I can think of is that some old dude who sleeps as soundly as I do has figured out a way to hardwire his bladder to his clock radio.
*except during televised sporting events, during which times his ears seal themselves from any outside noise interference while channeling the announcer’s voice directly into his auditory nerves.
Speaking of alarms, I looked at the calendar and realized that I forgot to have DB draw a name yesterday to see who won three of BroJoe’s prints. They frame beautifully, as you can see by this one BroJoe surprised me with during the summer. I’d never have had the nerve to try such bodacious colors, but I love it!
The winner? Why, I’ll be sending three prints to up to Pea’s Corner in Northern Ontario. Carole of Pea’s Corner blog can choose three, tell me what size she’d like, and I’ll have them printed.
Thanks, friends, for entering and for all the good wishes. Maybe I’ll do this again in 500 more posts! (BWAHaahaa!)