500? No…um…Excrement!!

I’ve found myself avoiding this post, since it’s my 500th, figuring I needed to say something pithy and wise, an extremely tough assignment since I usually muse about my Dearly Beloved husband, our poop-eating pooch, and the damnsquirrels ruining my flower beds.

Eventually, it came to me that if you’ve been here reading about poop, you probably aren’t expecting pith.

Last week I went to the mountains with my e-mail pals while my Dearly Beloved and Miss Piggy hung out at the beach.  North Carolina offers both.  Here’s my Saturday photo:

And here’s DB’s. The Atlantic was smooth as a lake.

DB decided that while it was just the two of them, he would attempt an intervention with Miss Piggy about her poop-munching.  His plan was to spray her deposits with something vile enough to deter her from having any interest in excrement–rabbit, dog, or otherwise.

Before you ask, yes, we do take her on walks at least twice a day, our pockets full of plastic newspaper bags to use as pooper scoopers.  I’m talking about the additional deposits she leaves when she goes in the back yard. This cocker spaniel poops at least three times a day, usually more, and scatters it in the grass, so collecting it isn’t as easy as it sounds, especially if it’s a predawn or evening deposit.

We think she poops more than she eats.  She may be a record setter, but we’re not looking for a trophy, believe me.

DB threatened to use Clorox, but not wanting to kill either her or the grass and not being able to find the Clorox, he chose Windex instead.  I can picture him cruising around the back yard with his spray bottle, spraying Windex on all the little Tootsie Roll turds.

It was all for naught.  Here’s his e-mail to me, reporting the results of his Windex experiment:

Doesn’t work.  Her teeth are sparkling.

How did I digress this far?   Back to my 500th post…

You’d think I’d have found my stride by now about my writing, but my most widely read post had only 14 words in it and they weren’t even necessary, so I certainly can’t get any direction from that.   It was one I did a year ago:  Why I Love Caller ID.

Bloggers often do Giveaways and get lots of blog attention on anniversary days.  I considered that, but what in the world would I offer?  One of my half-finished knitting projects?  Squirrel recipes?  If I’m going to have a Giveaway, it’s not blog attention I’m after anyway, but an opportunity to give one of you something special… because you’re special to me.  Here’s what I decided:

Go to BroJoe’s World and select your three favorite photos.  Leave a comment giving me a general idea–butterfly, sunrise, a dragonfly, etc.  If you win, we’ll get specific later to make sure I order the right prints.  Right now,  I’m simply curious to see which ones are favorites.  You can also tell me which size you’d prefer–5×7, 8×10?

BroJoe says all of this is okay with him.

We’ll make the deadline October 28.   I’ll put all the entries in a jack-o-lantern and get DB to draw one.  (Hah!  You probably thought I was going to scatter them in the yard and let Miss Piggy choose, didn’t you?!)

If you want to include any suggestions for Dearly Beloved as to what he might try in his spray bottle next time, feel free to add that, too.  Not something to put IN her food–we’ve gone that route– but something he can spray on it.  Won’t get you any sway in the drawing, but it’ll give Dr. Strangelove something to ponder. . .

Help take a load off his mind.



25 thoughts on “500? No…um…Excrement!!

    1. Glad to provide you with a laugh, but I hope it wasn’t needed because your day was in the toilet! (Sorry… I think it’s a disease…! And a crappy one at that. snort snort!)

  1. Sharon Kauerz

    Mary! I love all BroJoe’s pictures. He is really talented. The sunrise is beautiful. But, I have to have some dragonflies. I like:
    the one with the gold-tipped wings
    the vivid blue one
    the one wearing leather (S&M)
    Pick me DB…pick me!
    P.S. – glad you got the “poopy” gremlins fixed on your post today.

    1. Yep. . . I announced a giveaway and my blog wouldn’t accept Comments. Do I know how to win friends and influence people or WHAT?!!!

      May your dragonfly prove lucky…! 🙂

  2. Well, you doo seem to be on a doo doo theme (please note, first doo is spelled intentionally).
    There are products available in pet stores that you put in the dog’s food which is supposed to discourage coprophagia. Sounds snazzy, eh?
    Much luck.
    Pick someone else for your 500th celebration.
    I think I am coming up on 600. I am contemplating hanging up the blogging pen. I am trying to copy them all and save in “book” format.

    1. You put so much into your blog… ! I can’t imagine stretching your brain that far! You’ve had some really thought-provoking topics. DEFINITELY book-worthy. Just don’t stop!

      We’ve heard about pineapple, MSG, pet products, etc., but we can’t feed it to the rabbits, the granddogs, etc. Miss Piggy is indiscriminate in her choices.

  3. Angie (shozzy)

    Congrats on 500 posts …your brothers photos are amazing …you say choose the three that you like the most ….What a hard choice to make …I loved all the sunsets but my fav was the one that seemed to have cities in the red hot clouds. I loved the insects too but the dragonfly in leather caught my eye with its vibrant colour…lastly, the animal shots were beautiful and although the deer were cute, I found myself mesmerized by the aligators and turtles …my third one would be the turtle through the grass. I raise a glass to your next 500 posts xx

  4. OMG, I love the sunrise pics – the one with the bridge is AWESOME!!! Please, surprise me with three wonderful pics of the sunrise over my beautiful home state of NC -…. altho that one over Roanoke Sound is truly gorgeous, too! Is he going to send any to National Geographic!!!???? BroJoe, enter a contest – send them to NG – you are too good to not to share with the world!!!:):)

  5. Well a huge congratulations on your 500th post!! I love coming over and reading what you have to say, you always get me in hysterics! hehe It just wouldn’t be the same if you didn’t post about Miss Piggy’s poop eating habits, thedamnsquirrels or DB’s daily struggles with the first two. LOL

    Your brother’s pictures are all so awesome but I must admit I have a soft spot for any sunrise picture…so, if I should win, I would choose 3 different sunrise pictures:-)

    Here’s to another 500 posts from you!!! xoxo

  6. Julie

    Congratulations on 500 posts! Here are the photos that are my favorites, in no particular order: AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!October 19, 2011, Sunrise, October 10, 2011, Sunrise, September 30. They all are beautiful! Spritz those Tootsie Rolls with some vinegar.

  7. My first thought for DB is Tabasco. I figure the smell will deter Miss Piggy. But if it didn’t… I am imagining fiery flatulence!?!

    BroJoe’s photos are wonderful. The butterfly on the zinna is my favorite and the dragonflies are beautiful.

    Congratulations on 500 interesting and clever posts. At the end of each read I await the next. Cooling my heels for 501.

  8. Mary, congratulations on #500. Just a few more and you will pass Mickey Mantle, who hit a little over 500 home runs.

    I liked the two October 10 sunrise photos and the one of the butterfly on the flower.


  9. A great big CONGRATULATIONS on making 500. I can’t wait for the next 500. You make me laugh every single time so keep’em coming, good blogger buddy. You are better than an antidepressant.

  10. (A relief to read the giveaway isn’t some fossilized poop.)
    Anyway…I will probably forget all about my 500th…I’m such a ditz I even forget the yearly blogoversaries.
    So….hard to choose from bro jo’s work…guess I pick Rise and Shine ’cause I’m a sucker for photos like those!

  11. Happy #500!
    Choose a picture from BroJoe collection–that is tough. They are all lovely. Funny, but I have a real affection for those snake boots…BUT I guess I will choose:
    Sunrise: October 10
    Dragon Fly smiling..

    Congratulations and Cheers to another 500!

  12. Birdie

    oh, my
    a dragonfly
    BroJoe needs to take a photo of his “gear” that he uses to take these amazingly close-up photos that look like they belong in a zoological textbook!

  13. Congratulations on 500 posts,. Marylee! That is a wonderful accomplishment and you never fail put a smile on your readers faces with your wit and quick retort!

    I love your brother Joe’s photographs! They are stunning in their crispness and detail.

    It is hard to pick favorites but I love the sunsets:
    Oct 26
    Oct 10
    and the first Sept 29 butterfly! That is my DIL’s BD and her name means butterfly in Greek, so i’d frame it for her if I won.

    Looking forward to more of your world!

  14. Pretty tough to pick just three favourites, but I like the heron with the fish, the praying mantis, and the grasshopper staring at the camera. And congrats on 500 posts!

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