Asses, I mean.
Maybe I’m just grumpy on a Monday morning, but doesn’t this look a bit excessive to you?
Wait, there’s more. That’s only Page 1.
No, it’s not pattern directions for putting together a pre-fabricated house. That, my friends, is a Patient Information sheet for a vaginal cream. (Ah, the land of mystery…!)
Odd, because the gravitational pull of the moon on tidal forces can be explained with something like this:
. . . , and . . . 
. . . ,
Funny, that with all Newton knew about full moons, he felt no need to cover his.
Merrilymarylee's Weblog 
Obviously, your vagina is a Roman cathedral. 🙂
Lol
I’ll drink to that.
I think TKW summed it up…remember though never force it.
I feel like I know you on a totally different level now. Oh wait this isn’t for your personal use. Sorry 😦
Ah. . . don’t assume, Love. 🙂
@ TheKitchenWitch:Too funny! @Mary Lee- sorry, but you can probably blame it on menopause!
Hi, Julie! I can blame the cream on menopause, but all those instructions? Yikes!
I KNOW where it is!
Almost as excessive as the thirty-inch receipt the drugstore printed for the purchase of one item.
Exactly! And then there is the string of attached coupons and the little slip with the number they want you to call to say how good their service is.
CYA (cover your ass) is right. This patient info. is done strictly with the lawyers in mind. Sure as shootin’, there’d be someone who sued the company because nobody told them not to stick it up their nose instead of in their vajay-jay.
By the way, did you see that dementia is one of the possible side effects? At least now we have an excuse. haha
You and Nance are really the bearers of good news!
Seriously, I’m concentrating on the Roman cathedral thing. I need to go back and see if the Patient Information includes a pattern for murals.
Is that instructions or a list of side effects? Mercy, by the time you read it, you don’t need it.
Makes me think of that great scene in Fried Green Tomatoes – when Kathy Bates takes the mirror and checks out her nether regions for the first time!! I did that a couple of years ago – looked like a train wreck – 4 vaginal deliveries will do that, I guess! lolololol…. Now did you read all that ‘fine’ print? so to speak??:):):) hope the vaginal cream works!!:):) lolololol….. lady, you brighten my day!! lololololol…….
Well, I suppose if you lubricate a train wreck, it keeps it from rusting.
Hah! Genius.
And did you read that thing? They all read like O’Henry’s Gift of the Magi to me: you can have your vaginal lubrication, but you’ll have to give up smooth, regular heartbeats and normal blood pressure. Oh, and it might cause dry eye. But, hey, your doctor recommended this medication because he/she believes that, in your case, the side effects are acceptable for the problem this medication treats. Then, you try it, and sure as shit, your eyes are dry. You need an rx for Restasis and a cardiac ablation. Restasis comes with a patient information insert; the cardiac ablation comes with forms to sign saying you accept full responsibility if you drop dead during the procedure.
The surgeon’s happy; the proprietary hospital gets theirs; Allergan, Inc. makes a record profit this year, the economy recovers, and somebody who shall remain nameless is gratified. You, Sistergirl, are a patriot and a steely-eyed consumer. Good on ya.
Have eye appointment Monday, thank you very much.
Please, please, please join me in praying that WordPress does not decide to use this post as a Freshly Pressed offering.
I don’t often wish for a small readership, but today. . . ?
Holy…crap!! I wonder the Canadian insert is as long? We are less litigious than you, and I often notice that when I buy things in the US, there are a lot more warning labels, stickers, pamphlets and Russian novels…
Are you sure you still wanna use that cream? :0
“I wonder IF” …duh!