Nay? Neigh!

One of my friends was talking about her husband recently. “You know, the things that I used to think were cutest about him when we were dating are the things that bug me the most now.”  

She’s kidding, of course, even when she says, “Sometimes I think we are all married to the same man.”

Yesterday I sat at the sewing machine–a very strange place to find me– when the phone rang.  I stopped in mid-seam, turned off the machine, then jumped up and answered the phone.

“Hello?”  The Caller ID told me who it was.

“Ummm… what time are we eating?”

Two questions that really irk me are, “What’s for dinner?” and “When are we eating?” Perhaps I shouldn’t find them unreasonable and let them irritate me,  but they are and I do.

“What time do you want to eat?”  

“….uh,  I don’t think I’m handling this right….”

“You THINK???”

He was hoping we might eat early.  We could.

I punched END on the phone, opened the French doors,  and looked out on the screened porch where Dearly Beloved sat in the swing about eight feet from me, a book in his hand and phone at his ear, saying,  “Are you still there?”   

Giving him an iPhone was a very bad idea.

One day when he was out on his daily walk, he texted something that annoyed me.  I wrote back:  You are a jackass.  

That turned out to be a mistake on my part.  He was delighted.  He told me later that he stopped mid-step and laughed so loudly it attracted stares from passersby. Now, whenever I ask him to do something around the house, he says, “That sounds like a job for the jackass.  I’ll ask him to do it.”

You see the problem?  It may be an A+ job, or it may be completely half-assed.  How can I complain?  After all, the jackass did it.

Yes, I am talking about DB, the same man who brakes for kids’ lemonade stands and no, I don’t for a minute believe that we are all married to the same man.

I can pick my guy out of any group.

I love being married.  It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.    ~Rita Rudner

**Photo used with kind permission of Bret Douglas.  Thanks, Bret!

19 thoughts on “Nay? Neigh!

  1. This reminds me of a saying I heard many times from my paternal Grandmother………..
    ” the same mule that kick one man kicked them all ” 🙂

  2. In Spanish, there is a saying: “Están todos cortados con la misma tijera.” (Literally: They are all cut with the same pair of scissors). They may all be cast in the same mold, but I can pick mine out, too: he’s the one standing next to DB in the picture.

    Thanks for the laugh! It was so loud it attracted stares from passersby (the kids and the dogs)!

  3. Linda

    In Kenya, I saw an animal that was a jackass/zebra mix…now what could you make of that in the husband-department?

  4. Margie

    Our neighbours have a donkey, a mule, and a horse. My husband always stops to watch them when he is mowing next to the corral. Hopefully he doesn’t pick up any jackass tendencies from them…

  5. lulu

    Been outta town and was delighted when this popped up in my inbox!:) I needed a good LOL – and, as always, you served up the best!:) I still think a sitcom of your life with DB should be in the fall lineup!! :):) And it can be called: The Jackass Did It! LOLOLOLOLOL……

    It may be an A+ job, or it may be completely half-assed. How can I complain? After all, the jackass did it.

    (great pic, Bret, do you do jackasses a lot?:):))

  6. Nope, not a jackass at all. DB is just showing the world that he still has the techno-savy of a teenager. They aren’t the only ones who can sit in the same car or in the same house texting one another. Besides, he WAS on the porch which is technically not in the house. No offense, but Camp Grandpa? Brave and dedicated snake hunter? Plus friend to little kids with lemonade stands? That trumps asking the wrong question. And to his credit, he did not call you out on the porch to ask.

    It’s my own husband who gets the jackass award. For what reason, you might ask? The other day I asked if he wanted more coffee. To which he replied, “Yes maam.” Unfortunately my reaction confirmed that “maam” annoyed me. Yeah, he uses it every chance he gets.

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