Dagwood Branches Out

There always seems to be a dead branch or two dangling from one of the three very large oak trees in our yard,  not large enough to crush us, but big enough to put a hurtin’ were one to fall on us.  They become entangled in the other branches and hang there like the sword of Damocles.

One has hung stubbornly over the azalea bushes in a corner of the Byrds’ yard for months, well out of reach but annoyingly obvious–a dangling digit if you will.  Last week we noticed one hanging from the tree on the other side of the front yard, over our driveway.

No, we don’t have dying trees imperiling the neighborhood.  These aren’t limbs, but they’re larger than twigs.  Twimbs, perhaps.

When Daughter Boo called and said that she and her boys would like to  visit this week, DB decided to tackle the branches on his own.  He assumed a Dagwood Bumstead identity to take on the task.

His first weapon of choice was a 24-ft., fully extended pruning saw.  He climbed the three-step ladder and waved it at the branch.  Within minutes he was left holding a 12-ft. pole in one hand, looking up at the other half in the tree.

Our neighbor on the driveway side had been backing out of her driveway to run errands, but when she saw the scene in ours, she jumped out of her car and headed into her house, calling out that she wasn’t coming out again until he got off that ladder.

When another neighbor farther up the street drove by and saw him working to free the saw by waving a 20-foot window-washing pole at it,   she stopped to watch.  When the sponge sailed off and the top half of that pole went flying too, she told him that she was on her way to the hospital to see her mother, so she’d alert the ambulance to start on out in this direction.

Did I mention that he was doing all of this on a grey, drizzly day?

With both of his poles out of commission, he got out the 30-foot electrical extension cord and tied a wrench to it.  He was, believe it or not, able to reassemble the wrench after it flew off in several pieces.  An old tennis shoe tied to the cord was the next weapon of choice.

I stayed inside except for running out in my pj’s to take these pictures.   I have never been able to watch horror shows.

Finally, the doorbell rang.  There stood my wet husband, ladder and broken sponge head in hand, the broken wrench, tennis shoe, extension cord, and assorted poles lying on the sidewalk all around him.  He flexed his biceps and asked with a grin,  “Who’s your man?”

He told me he’d heard wild applause from the other side of the street when the tennis shoe found his mark.  A third neighbor waved wildly and called, “I’ve been watching you!  This is my second trip around the block!”

DB told me to call Beau Byrd and tell him, too bad, he’d missed his chance to sue.  DB had captured that branch, too.

Here’s what awaits the yard waste truck:

Just so you know, though… he could rub two wet sticks together and burn those piles if he wanted.

That’s my man.


Advertisements

15 thoughts on “Dagwood Branches Out

  1. Jincey

    After my Darling Husband read your post, he smiled and said, “That’s just how I would have done it.” Are they alllllllll that demented?

  2. us! I believe DB is my man, too. And he’s got to meet Dee Aitch, who holds an engineering degree that gives him license to “problem solve” and loves absolutely any challenge that involves ladders and sharp objects.

    When I hear him take the ladder out, I usually crank up the volume on my iPod and pretend I’m already widowed.

  3. Oh, fabulous! I believe DB is my man, too. And he’s got to meet Dee Aitch, who holds an engineering degree that gives him license to “problem solve” and loves absolutely any challenge that involves ladders and sharp objects.

    When I hear him take the ladder out, I usually crank up the volume on my iPod and pretend I’m already widowed.

  4. I didn’t know you live with Tim the Tool Man! lOl. Your neighbors coming around to watch the show is hilarious. They had popcorn too?

  5. OMG that is so funny. Even more so for I have a similar situation I need to tackle with a 16 foot extendo saw but haven’t for I kept envisioning what actually happened to him happening to me. Not being as resourseful, mine would just have to become a part of the tree. So I am waiting for a good wind storm.
    I do admire his determination and ability to entertain the neighbors.

  6. Sharon Kauerz

    Oh, those dang dangling twimbs! I hate it when that happens! My MAN is not allowed on a ladder. Always involves a trip to the emergency room. ALWAYS. So, it is up to me and I am just as resourceful as the next MAN. Just not as tall. So, it makes it ever more interesting. For the neighbors and my Man who is waving and shouting to get down from there! If he catches me at it.

  7. This would have been better than watching any old tv show! lol I would have been one of those neighbours sitting on my front porch, watching all the action and just waiting for something dire to happen!! hehe Well, you can’t say your DB is not resourceful…I mean, even using an old tennis shoe? Brilliant, absolutely brilliant!!! xoxo

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s