Close Encounters of a Sewer Kind

Maybe the third time will be the charm.

These are not the twinkling lights one likes to think about on her block.   This is the third time they’ve been out there since Christmas.   They’re not at our house; we’re fine.  But somewhere up the block must be a neighbor who is afraid to flush.

Dearly Beloved and I, over the years, have trained our ears to listen for the sound of a faint gurgle in the shower drain.  That’s the symptom we prefer to act upon.  Symptom B, a less subtle sign, is an overflowing toilet.

The roots of the canopy of trees on our street are usually the problem.  We put some kind of root stuff down our pipes occasionally and have had no problems for a long time (she said, crossing herself and knocking on wood.)

Still, it’s comforting to know that our city water and sewer department always responds quickly and efficiently to these sewer emergencies.

The whole scene brings to mind a poetic quotation from a Christmas classic movie:

Oh, the silent majesty of a winter’s morn… the clean, cool chill of the holiday air… and an asshole in his bathrobe, emptying a chemical toilet into my sewer…

– Clark Griswold – Christmas Vacation

Taking care of any other sh- –  in our lives is up to us.   May your year be free of assholes in bathrobes.

Happy New Year.


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5 thoughts on “Close Encounters of a Sewer Kind

  1. We listen for the roar of the dragon in our drain–the Zanakee. As long as he roars, our pipes are draining. Many have tried to slay the Zankee and his roar-none have succeeded and now we are firmly rooted in our love for each other. When it rains, when someone flushes…I listen for our Zanakee to roar and let me know all is well with our pipes.
    We do have trees and a rooter guy that comes out in the fall–named….are you ready for this…BUBBA and he gets the job done just like you would expect from a guy named BUBBA!
    Thank you for your warm, witty and useful New Year’s wish!

  2. Our upstairs toilet scares the ummm…sh*t…out of anybody that uses it because when you flush the water rises almost to the top before it starts going down. They all think it’s going to overflow and I really should have a camera in there to catch their horrified expressions! lol Christmas Vacation is my favourite Christmas movie of all time and I know that line quite well! hehe xoxo

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