There Oughta Be a Policy Against ’em

Does it seem like a good idea to you, even on New Year’s Eve with a lampshade on your head, to choose an insurance company from the dumbass commercials they run on TV?

Who got paid the big bucks for coming up with the idea of ducks and geckoes shilling for companies?  Think about it.  In the Geico commercials, the gecko is smarter than the CEO.  I believe it.   And then there was the caveman…. Duh.

(cue the Twilight Zone music)

Their series with the guy asking the questions… like was Abe Lincoln honest… was clever, I thought, until they jumped back on the animal train and added that annoying pig squealing all the way home.  Once was plenty.

If the alliteration of gecko /Geico appealed to the advertising geniuses, they should have approached Ben Affleck for AFLAC instead of the duck. Then we’d see The Town and get a subliminal message to change our insurance coverage or face very serious consequences.

State Farm has the policyholders snapping for their agent genie to be there and grant their wishes. If they were smart, they’d be asking not to have their policies cancelled after those dumb accidents they had.

The blindingly white setting where customers browse the shelves for Progressive insurance while the dog runs the numbers?   Don’t go there–it makes your teeth look yellow.

If you watch The Closer, you know that J. K. Simmons’s  character on the show didn’t get the Police Commissioner position he sought.   He must have been sending out resumes while Brenda Leigh Johnson was out solving crimes because now he’s appearing in Farmers Insurance commercials.  Odd, though… if any company was going to use animals in its advertising, you’d think it might be the Farmers.   Bumpah dumdum, dum pahdump.

But the commercials that turn ME into an animal are those obnoxious ones run  by Nationpam.  (Hey, I’m not the one who changed the name.)   Earlier ads had the company executives searching the globe for the ultimate salesman and finding him–quite appropriately, I might add– in a Deliverance-type setting.   He’s so goofy acting I’d be hesitant to let him under my house to spray for bugs, much less to help decide what coverages I need.

I’m just getting started.  After all these sick days in front of the boob tube, I also have health insurance commercials taking up brain space and I’m ready to rant.   Another time, perhaps.

Which ones drive you nuts?

Here’s a scary thought:  Wonder if they’re working on Superbowl ads?

13 thoughts on “There Oughta Be a Policy Against ’em

  1. Mine is a local car dealer ad. Two really dumb sons are always being dumped on by their bully father who owns the dealership. Why would I buy a car from them?
    Have to agree with you on all the others. They sure aren’t confidence builders.
    Happy New Year.

  2. I’m afraid I like the Aflac commercials with the duck. One of the recent ones has a goat representing an insurance company that doesn’t have the same benefits as Aflac. He responds with a “nahhh..” to every comparison while chewing up insurance policies. I dunno…I guess I’m just simple minded.

    The ones I do hate are the ones that come on so fricking loud that I have to lurch for the remote to turn it down. Wasn’t Congress doing something about that? Or did “Yertle” McConnell vote against that too?

  3. “Here’s to the bright New Year, and a fond farewell to the old; here’s to the things that are yet to come, and to the memories that we hold.”

    Happy New Year to you my friend:-) Sounds like you’ve started the new year like I have…with a miserable cold! My companions the last few days have been my box of tissues, cough drops and cough syrup. Ugh.

    All commercials irritate me! lol Very few can make me smile or laugh and little do they know that some commercials make me actually dislike their products!!!!! Enough said! lol xoxo

  4. Not sure about tv commercials—but State farm sent me a letter 1 week before Christmas not canceling my insurance but admonishing me to be a safer driver. I was sideswiped in a construction zone and the other driver keep going last April. Loved the last paragraph, ” We recognize your accident was unforeseeable, but we also hope you recognize our obligation as a “Good Neighbor” to caution policy holders to be careful. No Christmas calendar for me. No green talking lizards for me–just marketing people with lizard brains.

    Happy New Year!!

      1. Patti – You’re right. Don’t buy a car from a bully or insurance from a lizard. Happy New Year to you.

        Buckles- Allstate, right?

        TTPT – Does the duck make you want to buy insurance from that company? I think I like the duck better than the singing parrots. (another nationpam.)

        Pea – Honey, misery doesn’t love company in this case. Hope you get well soon. Even if I do, there’s still DB’s cold to contend with.

        KB – Oh yeah… sending out a slap on the hands letter the week before Christmas is definitely my idea of Good Neighborliness. (sigh)

        TTPT – And always wear good underwear when you go out.

  5. The insurance companies are laughing all the way to the bank while convincing the public that they really do care. Still, you have to admit that the GEICO commercials are pretty good, and the guy who does the All State commercials? He can talk to me anytime-that voice!

    btw, I received a letter from my beloved insurance company letting me know that insuring homes in my area was no longer in their strategic plan….(ugh). Bastards!

    Happy New Year! I am looking forward to enjoying all your posts in 2011.


  6. I don’t watch a lot of regular TV beyond the news in the morning and an occasional movie. I watch the Food network sometimes when I’m ironing. Most of the times hubby & I watch a Netflix movie together and that’s it.
    You should get a TIVO and then you can fast forward through the commercials. My son does that all the time 🙂
    Hope you and your family have good health and happiness in 2011!
    ♥ Pat

  7. Here’s the thing that makes Madison Avenue tick: we all knew exactly which commercials you were talking about here! Mission accomplished! And I do think that’s all they are shooting for, getting the name recognition, even if they have to annoy the hell out of us to do it. Since we all have to buy car insurance, and they all really do set their prices and policies according to what the other companies are getting away with, all they need to do is make sure you don’t forget who they are.

    Insurance companies own the country. They surely own the content of cable and network television (otherwise, how DID teevee come to cater to the lowest common denominator)…all except for the parts owned by beer companies and the makers of Cialis and Viagra.

    Speaking of which, as if the his and her bathtubs on the edge of a cliff aren’t dumb enough, now we’ve got kitchens that turn into campsites and front yards that turn into boulders in a bubbly stream, because ya’ll just KNOW how much we women like something firm under our backs.

  8. Progressive online insurance ads – hands down. Mute, mute, mute that annoying woman! (You crack me up, btw. My husband and I are always commenting, “A bunch of suits sat around and thought this one up? Our seven year old could do better!”)

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