Soap Opera

Men are oblivious, especially if it concerns something they believe they can check off their mental list as being something “the wife” handles.   They just toss that little item right out of their brain cells.

Because I sometimes write about Dearly Beloved’s foibles  (precious as they are, you understand) I’m posting this one especially for him.  He can see he’s not The Lone Ranger.

I’m writing about someone else’s husband.

My friend Beanie’s husband is a hoot.  He usually has a twinkle in his eyes and drops humorous remarks with such a soft, deadpan delivery  that I’m sometimes not sure it’s okay to laugh.  This is not the first time I have written about him and I believe there will be more material if Beanie will keep ratting him out.

Recently Beanie and Hoot attended a holiday dinner party at the home of their son’s in-laws and Beanie, thoughtful guest that she is, took along a hostess gift:  a lovely soap dish made by a local potter and a handmade, natural, all-organic bar of soap.

The hostess opened the gift and exclaimed over it, then set it aside on a table as she continued  preparations and moved about, talking to her guests.  A  bit later, as everyone continued to chat before dinner,  Hoot caught Beanie’s eye and beckoned.

He gestured toward the soap in its pretty dish and confided, “That is the worst cheese I’ve ever tasted.  It’s like paraffin!”

Beanie felt her eyes bobbling around in her head.

“That’s the PRESENT we gave to them!  You ATE it???

“Not exactly,” he told her.  It had tasted so bad that even with his excellent manners,  he couldn’t bring himself to swallow it.

Beanie, completely taken aback, wondered aloud what in the world the hosts must think.

She needn’t have worried.

Turns out that the host had provided the cheese knife.

13 thoughts on “Soap Opera

  1. Jaybee Barrister

    Given these facts, I feel very confident and offer to represent you in a claim for substantial damages……These facts are almost identical to the attractive nuisance cases involving railroad turntables, and thus clearly negligent, approaching strict liability…..also, I think there is a count of intentional tort involved here that, the defendant, knowing your weaknesses and proclivities (think thin skull plaintiff rule) intentionally set a trap ( see: trap shot gun cases where shot gun rigged with string behind a closed door) wherein and whereby the defendant knew you would bite……
    Also, damages are exacerbated by the humiliation visited upon you for doing something so……innocent…..(may be the word)….., as eating the soap that any reasonable man, seeing it in a serving dish, on the table, and clearly no sink around within the U.S. Plumbing Association standard two feet…..would have immediately gone for before everyone else ate it all up.

    I really think we have got something here…..Let me know. JB

    (Sent to me via e-mail- M. Mary.)

  2. I thought this kind of thing only happened at MY house. Oh so funny and familiar–I bet you could not wait to come home and call your daughter to share. I will share this story with my mother–who will bless your soul –since my daddy , precious man that he is would have done the same thing.

  3. Pingback: Joe-Grief in Hindsight-Christina Taylor Green

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