The Bride Was Groomed

The dog and I had haircuts last week.

Miss Piggy had a grooming appointment here at the beach.  That was a first for her, since we usually have that done in Charlotte. We’d taken her to a vet here for a recent ear infection and decided we needed to give their grooming services a try.  Miss Piggy didn’t get that nickname just from her appetite.

Our dog has issues:  itchy skin, moles, an errant nail that grows into her pad if not cut carefully, and anal glands that runneth over–thus bearing out DB’s assessment of her contents.   He bases this on those sacks  of… um… poo the size of her head that he brings back from their walks together.

After her Charlotte grooming sessions, Miss Piggy struts out proudly with a colorful new bandana around her neck and a report card with A+ and a string of smiley faces.  Miss Piggy’s grooming conduct has always been exemplary.

When DB picked her up after her appointment here with the new groomer, she looked really good. Possibly her best haircut ever.  BUT, when he saw her report card, DB was horrified.

“B”???? You gave her a B on conduct??? How can that be?”

“Well, she had an independent streak and didn’t like me messin’ around with her feet.”

He was still fretting over the grade when he brought her home.  I think he’ll expect me to bake cookies or something next time to induce a little grade inflation.

The day after her haircut, I drove back to Charlotte for mine–200 miles.  It may sound strange for someone who lives in sweatpants and considers wearing a bra “dressing up” to say this, but I would sooner find a gynecologist  on Craig’s List than to let a stranger with scissors near my cowlicks and wandering part.

I came back the next day–in pants AND bra, mind you–feeling quite snazzy with my freshly done “do.”  When I took Miss P for a walk around our neighborhood, one of the neighbors on another street stopped her car and leaned out her window.

“Hello, Mary. . . hello, Miss Piggy!  You look BEAUTIFUL!”

I smiled modestly.

“DB told me to make sure I complimented Miss Piggy on her new haircut.”

Just wait ’til he sees HIS report card.

Camera shy.
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12 thoughts on “The Bride Was Groomed

  1. Miss Piggy looks very pretty and I am certain you look very nice to know that your cowlicks are properly tamed. I bet you DB is going to want you take you to a very fine restaurant to show you and your do off–or risk wandering around the kitchen looking for a box of cereal….

  2. Tell Miss Piggy that Bumper Joseph needs a muzzle to get his nails trimmed. I am thinking that would be a D-. Or maybe and F. I’ve never seen a report card. Either they are too nice to give me a bad report card or they are so happy to be rid of him they don’t take the time to fill one out!

  3. LOL. I don’t think his Uranus is going to be fine after you give him the report card. 😉

    You drove 200 miles???!!! Actually, I kind of could understand: I’ve had the same hairdresser for the past decade. She “knows” my hair. Men don’t understand this do they?

  4. Well, it could be worse. I’m currently reading a book about presidential marriages. In one chapter Barbara Bush lamented that when she finally let her hair go completely gray, George Sr. didn’t even notice.

    I have to say though, Miss Piggy does look purty.

  5. It’s because your hair always looks good. It’s when people make over how beautiful you look AFTER a trip to the salon that you need to worry about how you looked BEFORE. So it’s really a compliment if they don’t feel obliged to mention it.

    Funny how we are about our dogs. Tell DB that the new groomer has a different grading system, that’s all. Miss Piggy did just fine.

  6. Ah, Miss Piggy’s haircut looks fabulous my dear but I would have liked to have seen a photo of your new do as well!
    Know what you mean about driving 200 miles to get your hair cut. Since moving to eastern NC I’ve had my hair butchered several times over the years and once even walked out of the “best” salon here with a wedge—when I asked for a bob—and I was in tears for days.

  7. I have always been fascinated dogs that need their butt glands “done”……Miss Piggy looks very adorable….hard to believe she has this butt problem that needs to be addressed….my friend actually drives from Alabama to Georgia to have her dogs butts done…I don’t know how far she would drive for a haircut……

  8. Think your former groomer was a kiss up for a tip. Few dogs are A+ while still conscious. B is exemplary.
    Cracked up over ” considers wearing a bra “dressing up”. Totally guilty here.

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