Groceryiaphobia

Not surprisingly, Dearly Beloved and I have very different views on grocery shopping.

There are certain items I feel that must always be on hand in a civilized household:  milk, bread, coffee, Diet Cokes, wine, toilet tissue, for instance.   DB thinks that as long as there is a can in the pantry or a package in the freezer, a trip to the grocery store would be premature.

This morning he told me that he was going to the post office and asked whether  there was anything he could do for me.  I replied that we were out of bread.

When he said he could handle that,  I asked him to check the wine rack, too, to make sure we had some.  He agreed, but quickly pointed out that two items are pretty much his shopping limit.

I couldn’t resist adding,  just in case…  “We may need something for dinner.”

To my astonishment,  he came back with, “Oh, you don’t have to worry about that.”

Well, bless his heart, I thought, wondering what he had in mind.  He is definitely not one of those guys who took up cooking when he retired.  “Once in a blue moon” is pushing it for him.   Nor does he like going out to eat in the evening.

“That’s nice,” I said.  “What are you planning?”

He looked stunned by my question.

“Nothing.  I just meant that I’ll eat whatever you fix.  You know,  I’m Mr. Malleable.”

Huh.  Not my first guess.

Oh look, we have milk on hand.  Just how malleable are you, Mr. M?


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11 thoughts on “Groceryiaphobia

  1. Not a thing wrong with cereal for dinner. My husband has the same limit on his ability to buy groceries. If it’s more than a couple of items, his response is, “Perhaps you’d better go.” The exception is on Fridays when he drives to Fresh Market to get the fish and meat he will grill on the weekend.

  2. Gee, I guess I’ve got it pretty good since my hubby usually does all the grocery shopping for the two of us.

    Of course, he usually eats spinach right out of the can while standing at the kitchen sink and I live on Lean Cuisine, so that may not be saying much…

  3. Jincey

    My Darling Husband likes to go to the grocery, but he comes in with bags filled with cookies and the like “because you never buy enough.”

    Oh, and our two sons liked to go to the grocery store with him. I couldn’t figure out why until an elderly woman told me she’d seen them there “and they were having such fun.” FUN? How so? “Your DH shouted, “Go long!” and then he threw a can of soup to your son. It went the whole length of the aisle.” Mystery solved.

  4. Joe did all the grocery shopping and all the cooking.
    The first time I went grocery shopping after he died, I went to the deli counter and asked for ham When the clerk asked me how much ham I wanted, I started to sob…I had no idea. Between gulps, I managed to say I needed ham for sandwiches.
    The clerk, came around the counter and said “Honey just tell me how many sandwiches you plan to make and I will cut the right amount of ham for you and pick out some nice cheese.” Such a letter I wrote the store about this angel.
    Now days, I Peapod and when I do go to the store–stick to the cookies and hostess aisle ).
    I love this video!
    Oh, cereal for dinner is good–but next time consider Lucky Charms!

  5. I will be back to catch up on your posts but right now I just wanted to invite you to my birthday party on my blog…get ready to do the jitterbug:-) xoxo

  6. Tammy McCloud

    I cannot stop laughing at what you wrote and this video. However I am so happy to hear DB has these issues because I thought maybe there was something wrong with my hubby. I can write a list of two things for him to get and he will still call me as soon as he gets in the store. EVERY TIME !! Not kidding in the 20 years we have been together I have never been able to send him to the store without a call! Well… I love him in spite of himself. Thanks for the laugh. 🙂

  7. I’ve seen that grocery store schtik. Hilarious. I must have done something right in a past life. My ex and my Now Husband Dan are both great cooks. Ex would only cook when we had company, but Now Husband Dan cooks all the time. He’s an upgrade.

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