Nasal Passages

This isn’t something I care to get on my high horse over, but I don’t understand Sunday Blue Laws.

This morning I ran to the grocery store to get Light Cream for our morning coffee and some fresh produce for dinner.  I would have bought wine, but there can be no wine sales until after 12 PM.

It crossed my mind to wonder what happened if the church across the street from the store ran out of communion wine.

I don’t have any problem with late night prohibitions.  Those have some logic to them.  Is there a market for 4 AM beer buyers besides fraternity boys who shouldn’t be?

Hunting is not allowed in some states (like Connecticut and North Carolina) on Sundays. Not that I’m a hunter, but I don’t get that either.  If it’s wrong on Sunday, why is it okay on other days?

No commercial clamming in New Jersey on Sundays.

The South Carolina law mandating that any car race on Sunday has to be 250 miles long?  Chew on that one awhile.

The laws are a holdover from Colonial times, back when church attendance was required and the militia was empowered to go after the slackers who slept late.  They were called Blue Laws because they were written as an accommodation to the Christian Sabbath by the strict moralist Pilgrims, referred to as Blue Noses.

Why Blue Noses?  Possibly because it was cold in Connecticut and Massachusetts.  Downright frigid. They believed it was their way or the highway, even though it was only a rutted road back then.  They had a host of Sunday No No’s: no wearing of lace, no travel, no shaving, no cooking, no kissing.

Intercourse, of course, was definitely out.  How would they know, you wonder?  The Puritans believed that babies were born the same day of the week on which they had been conceived.  Thus, any Sunday births put the parents in deep doodoo for supposedly diddling on a Sunday nine months earlier.

Can’t you imagine the Blue Noses twittering about that one?  Wouldn’t they have loved Tweeting!

Up until now, folks who advocated repeal of the Blue Laws haven’t met with much success beyond loosening things like mandatory church attendance and the bonking brigade.  The closing laws have been embraced over the years, keeping Sunday free for Christian business owners without allowing non-Christian competition to have an edge.*  A little brown-nosing in play?

(Too bad,  Jews, Muslims, and other sects who worship on Saturday… and that goes for you too,  godless heathens who don’t worship any day.)

Politicians may be ready for a change, as they have recently heard a message more stirring than those of the non-Christians and the whining heathens.  The message?

M-O-N-E-Y.

Tax coffers rendered anemic by the recession might be enhanced with Sunday sales– reason enough to revisit those long-standing Blue Laws.  For instance, some states prohibit car dealerships from being open on Sundays.  Unleashing the car salesmen on all those folks wandering through car lots on Sunday afternoons could bring on a stimulus to make the most ardent blue-nosed Tea Partyer’s head spin with conflicting values.  Ca-CHING!

Any lace-wearing boozers could have an early morning nip, slip into a church pew to seek forgiveness for their red noses, and still be home in time for a Sunday afternoon romp in the hay.

WELL-KNOWN BLUE NOSES

*Blue Laws by David J. Hanson, Ph. D. in Alcohol Problems and Solutions.

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21 thoughts on “Nasal Passages

  1. Here’s one for ya from Texas:

    “Until 1985, Texas retail stores were forbidden to sell items that performed work on Sundays. The distinction was peculiar. For example, nails could be sold, but not hammers, since it was deemed that the hammer performed the work. This portion of the blue laws was challenged by Handy Dan Hardware in 1984 and repealed the following year.”

    No getting hammered OR hammering allowed on Sundays. ha!

    1. Growing up in Texas, I remember. You could not buy school supplies on Sunday even from the grocery store. I had an orthodox Jewish friend growing up and her family was really out of luck. Her mom did have a wonderful sense of humor about it tho!

  2. “Myrtle Beach has a problem holding a marathon on Sunday, since ten churches are on the marathon courses (listed in order of appearance on course). Eight of the ten churches (exceptions are churches on Mile 12 and 19) are on Kings Highway.”

    Oh, Lordy, they might catch a glimpse of somebody sweating…um, I mean, perspiring!

  3. cw

    And then, ladies and gentleweenies, we have ‘bama…. the county I live in is ‘dry’ – BUT,I can drive 3 miles into the next county of Jefferson and buy all the beer and wine I want at the grocery store – AFTER 12, OF COURSE, gotta let those church-going, gawd-fearing folks repent their sins before they ‘gin’ it up again!!:) The hypocrisy could drive a decent person to drink! :):)
    Mz MerrilyMaryLee, I love how you always crystalize the insanity of life! Cheers to ya!:):)

  4. I always wondered why they were called blue laws. Of course, in Tennessee we have so many laws, Sunday barely matters. After moving here from St. Louis, I really miss bingo. Now, bingo..there is a scary sinful thing for you.

    1. Not sure if you can play on Sunday in NC, but you can’t have alcohol and unless they’re part of a fair, they can’t last more than five hours. My rear end would go to sleep long before then. Funny that it is a great game for kids and senior citizens, but it’s the in-between times that folks can’t be trusted. Maybe it’s all the smoke. . . !

  5. I remember the blue laws when I lived in Texas many years ago but reading that there is going to be a blogger tax in Pennsylvania, I’m certain that most blue laws will be repealed in lieu of tax revenue.

  6. I gotta tell ya first of all. Any blogger that can encourage folks to read a post titled “nasal passages” must be one heckuva blogger!

    In our county we can buy beer and wine on Sunday, but not before noon. Fits right in with the church thing. When we lived in eastern NC many years ago, we had a liquor store, but had to drive to a neighboring county to buy beer or wine.

  7. Just this year, we got rid of the “no alcohol sold on Sunday” thing. Alas, we still haven’t gotten rid of the “no wine/alcohol sold in grocery stores” law. Which SUCKS.

  8. Move to Wisconsin. They have it all, right there in the grocery store–or did, when we lived there. The produce was awful back then, but the booze selection was impressive. AND, if you forgot to make your list, there was a bar every block or so (across the street from a church, of course) where you could have a snort while you thought about what you planned to buy.

  9. Some of the towns here do not allow the sales of alcohol on Sunday mornings so the section is cordoned off on Sundays until noon. I always wonder whether there is a line near noon or a mad dash on Saturday night at 11:59 pm. LOL That picture of Beck… he almost looks adorable. LOL

  10. Pat Gubbins

    Love your blog, Mary Lee and enjoyed visiting with you at Martha’s birthday party. I’m glad to find out you can buy wine after noon. I’d thought I had to wait until 1 p.m. Where have I been all this time?
    Keep up the good work!
    Pat

  11. Reading this post was like listening to my husband go on about blue laws (only yours was more entertaining!) But then, he’s from New England where they have drive thru liquor stores.

  12. I’ve always said that blue laws are essentially religious laws and therefore unconstitutional but unfortunately many States and Provinces still have a few of them in place, just because they haven’t been challenged. According to Wikipedia, the Supreme Court has argued that laws designed to enforce a day of rest are not unconstitutional, which is simply mind-boggling to me. 1) Since when is the government in the business of telling people when to rest? 2) Stating that the fact that blue laws fall on Sunday is just a coincidence seems a bit disingenuous. I understand that the Supreme Court can give a nod to traditions, but this seems ludicrous. Anyway, great post and thank goodness it’s ok to “bonk” on Sundays now! LOL xoxo

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