So you’ve watched the TV news this week and found it all “phews,” so batshit-crazy that you sent your television to Bristol and Levi as an engagement present…?
And your ears are starting to bleed because you’ve heard more of Mel Gibson’s foul rants than the Ex- has…?
Is that why you’re moaning, Mona?
And you’re thanking Mother Nature because Bristol and Levi’s outdoor wedding in Alaska must at least be over quickly? And the sure-to-be-shown photos of Daddy Levi and Baby Tripp in their matching camo wedding duds will replace the Blurry -Naked -Levi Playgirl one that hurts your eyes… is that your hankering, Hannah?
And you’ve seen Lindsay Lohan’s painted-for-da-judge middle F*ck you fingernail so often you’ve built that bird a nest? And hope her new attorney, Robert Shapiro, will say she should shove it… in a glove? Is that what you’re going for, Gladys?
Will anyone watch Aaron Sorkin’s movie based on Andrew Young’s book about Rielle, Johnny, the sex tapes, and the lawsuit unless assured that doing so could somehow halt Global Warming? Is that what you’re wondering, Wanda?
It’s been quite a week with the nuts and the creeps, so if those nitbrains have gotten you down, Dawn…
Here, thanks to my dear husband who found this, is news* to make you smile.