To paraphrase Johnny Cochran,  if you make a mess, you must confess,

Why?  Because otherwise, your spouse may be tempted to start his own blog to rat you out.  I tell too many tales on Dearly Beloved to be able to keep this one a secret, so I’m going to spill my guts here.

Our garage is a tandem garage.  It holds two cars–one in front of the other.  One can’t be picky about which car to drive with a tandem garage.

DB, of course, IS picky.  He chooses to ride in the clean one, which is his.  Mine always has stuff “in transit”–library books, plastic bags, returns, etc ., so he usually moves my car out of the garage in order to get to his own.   That was what he planned to do last week when he looked on the shelf where we keep our car keys.

“Where are your car keys?  I don’t see either set.”


I knew that one set was probably in the compartment between the front seats, where he sometimes puts them when he moves my car.  Fine.  We’d worry about the second set later.

He was back upstairs in a couple of minutes.

“I found both sets of keys.  Your other set was in the ignition which was still On, still in Drive,  with the emergency brake off.  And, oh yes… the battery is dead.”

Sort of like the Rapture had happened just as I pulled into the garage, only I got dropped pretty quickly.  Mistaken identity.

The last time I had driven the car was the previous day when I’d gone to the grocery store.

It started coming back to me.

I always have an audio book going when I’m in the car.  Sometimes I leave them there,  but if one is especially good, I bring it inside to listen while I’m cooking, or working on some project.  The current book was a good suspense novel, so I’d waited for the disc segment to finish, so I’d know where I was, to make it easy to pick it up at the same spot.  I’d listen while I was putting away the groceries.

Some audio books are divided into 3-minute segments, but this one went on and on.  I finally turned off the motor, not wanting to asphyxiate myself in the garage,  but left the key in On position so the CD would keep playing.  The segment must have lasted ten minutes.  Longer, apparently, than my train of thought.

I was listening impatiently, while thoughts of the ice cream, shrimp, milk, eggs, and other items warming in the back of the car began to fight for my attention.  As soon as the chapter ended,  I ejected the CD, and jumped out to begin unloading the groceries.

By the time I’d made three trips to lug all the groceries up the stairs and made a quick pit stop,  I’d long since forgotten that the car ignition was still on.  I put the groceries away.

After the discovery of my misdeed the next day, DB called our neighborhood auto repair guy, who came over immediately and charged the battery.  DB backed the car  out of the garage, but left the engine running to let the battery build up completely.

DB came inside to write the check to the auto shop.

“Now let’s see,”  he said thoughtfully, “what shall I put down as the reason for this check… ?  Battery Charge?   Dead Battery?   No, that doesn’t sound exactly right.”

He wrote  Uncharged Brain.

Later,  I asked him was I … um … declining.

“Goodness, no!” he assured me.  “You’re loopy, but you’ve always been loopy.   You’re just like you were when I married you.”

At my age, few things about me are unchanged.  Still loopy after all these years?

Music to my ears.


16 thoughts on “Charge!

  1. How wonderful to find out that you’re still the woman he married years ago!! hehe Isn’t it funny how one thing can lead to another and before you know it, you’ve done something like leave the car ignition on. In my case, leave the keys in the door…good thing no car thief was passing by, he would have thanked me for the invitation in stealing my car!! lol xoxo

  2. Awwww–who says romance is dead? Still loopy after all these years.

    LOVE IT.

    By the way, when our daughter got married last October, she picked “our” song as “Still Crazy After all These Years.” And my hubby & I danced to it.

    I realy loved that she picked that. Of course, she & her newly minted husband walked into the reception to “I Walk The Line.”

  3. So cute! This kind of stuff is happening more and more to me. I get out of the shower and I can’t remember if I washed my hair or not.

  4. Oh my goodness…LOL… that is a priceless story! That must have been a good book on tape. Glad you got the car battery charged and no harm was done.

    Many years ago when my son was a baby we left our car keys in our car’s trunk lock in a big outdoor mall shopping lot! They were dangling for all to see yet for some reason no one wanted our beat up Chrysler Another time we left our house for the day with the front door wide open. Each of us thought the other had closed and locked it!

    ♥ Pat

  5. “Sort of like the Rapture had happened just as I pulled into the garage, only I got dropped pretty quickly. Mistaken identity.”

    I love it! I least I know there’ll be one other heathen left behind besides me! 🙂

  6. You are so lucky that DB took your….forgetfullness with a grain of salt….
    The Boss would have tared and feathered me….I sent out a package to the baby in Jersey and I forgot to put “decorative kiddie stickers” on the box….who knew I had to do this everytime I sent a box… would have thought I killed someone……Hang on to that guy of yours!!

  7. This is sooo something I would do.

    “Still loopy after all these years.” Awesome. You should think about using this as your epitaph. Someday. Far in the future.

  8. How funny. That is cool of you to give your hubby equal time on the spouse bashing platform. That should deter him from wanting his own blog and keeps you in control of what tales are told. Smart lady. Nothing loopy about that.

  9. Honey, I’m worried. According to the story (which is FABULOUS!), the last thing that happened to the car was that Dearly Beloved left it running in the driveway to charge the battery while he waxed clever on the check at your expense (so to speak).

    That means that, as far as we can tell, that car is still running in the driveway. And it’s his fault.

    The God of Poetic Justice is alive and well in the South!!!

    But you and I knew that.

    I love this header, too.

  10. unabridgedgirl

    Hahahah! This was a cute post. And don’t feel too bad. At least you did this at home, right? I forgot to put my car in park at the store. LUCKILY it didn’t hit anyone. The only thing injured was my pride.

  11. To think you even have new lyrics for your song :-). You made me smile that’s for sure. I hope you are having a wonderful day. Blessings…Maryi

  12. More than once Husband has “cleaned out my car” as a favor to me. I always tell him to put the books back because I need books in my car in case I get stuck somewhere. I never understand why he can’t remember that.

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