Losing It!

My Wonder Where They’ve Gone list is ever-lengthening:  time,  my memory, the ability to read fine print, my waistline.  Kindly, my friends hold up their own lists to comfort me.  A string of items recently added to mine  have left me scratching my head.  Tangible things…that must be here somewhere!

In January,  the red scarf with a heart design I’d knitted  to wear in February was nowhere to be found.   Missing about the same time was a library book I had checked out for Dearly Beloved, but after he decided not to read it,  I left it on the coffee table with several others for a couple of days.   I remember putting on my coat, grabbing the books and my keys.  After that, it’s like I entered a black hole. The other books I returned that day made it.   I didn’t realize this one hadn’t until an overdue notice arrived.

Today I went on an all-out hunt, looking under sofa cushions (hey, Pogo–I found your little brown Mexican train!)   I looked in drawers and closets, beside and under beds, even in the bathrooms.  I searched the garage, in case I’d set it down to open the gate.  No book.

I’ve been sharing my frustration with my friends, who have been offering suggestions, the most persistent one being to look under the car seats.  Again.  I searched both cars. Under my car seat, I pulled out an empty water bottle and a Diet Coke can,  a three-year-old note to the vet, a McDonald’s french fries container,  expired coupons,  and my childhood sandbox shovel.  No kidding.  It’s a little rusty shovel that I used in my sandbox as a kid.  (cue The Twilight Zone music, please)

I looked in tote bags, handbags, and pockets.  No book.

Discouraged, I switched gears and put out another APB on the heart scarf.  The last time I remember wearing it was on our trip to Indiana.  I’d  packed it away during the trip.  I pulled out my suitcase and looked for the fourth time.  Still empty.

When we travel, DB and I stuff things into each other’s bags, depending on who  has the most room.  I pulled out his suitcase.  There, in one of the zipped pockets, was my red scarf.  Wait!  Hell’s bells… and my bedroom shoes. my cream turtleneck,  and my red sweater.  (Guess he doesn’t unpack that which does not belong to him!)  Buoyed, we searched all the luggage.  No book.

I donned my red sweater and Valentine scarf and we went out to lunch, then to the library to search the shelves.  Perhaps they’d made a mistake and shelved it without checking it in.  Apparently not.

I sent a whiny e-mail to friends, who, blank on further ideas, elicited suggestions from their husbands.   I looked on every bookshelf in the house, as one recommended.  No library book.

The last suggestion came from Beanie’s husband, the winner of the first  DuhMENtia award.  Remember him–the guy who searched for his missing blue shirt for several hours, only to realize he was wearing it?   A commenter referred to him as Mr. Blue Shirt.  I like it, but it’s too long, so I’ll abbreviate.

His BS advice?

“Look in your lap.  Maybe you’re reading it now.”

Scarf, shovel and Valentines that two "opposites" selected for each other.

13 thoughts on “Losing It!

  1. Birdie

    Obviously, you forgot to ask your neighbors! You know the ones–you called them when your directions went missing and you remembered you had left them on the car roof. They found them on the sidewalk as I recall. Ask around, someone found that book.

  2. cw

    It was 1987, remember it like yesterday, the first time these words met my eyeballs:

    Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.

    Yep, true then, truer than true today.

    So glad you found that gorgeous scarf!!! :):)

    About that book… it’s there, close, I can just feel it. And I can’t wait to read about where you find it! :):)

  3. I LOVE it that you guys picked out the exact same Valentine to give to one another! My mom and I did that one year!

    I’d help with the book, but I’m too busy searching for Miss D.’s misplaced library book…I lose everything!

  4. This is your guardian angels way of making sure you are getting proper exercise and are cleaning obscure places. Once they are happy that you have scrambled enough, and they quit laughing, the book will appear.

  5. (First, LOVE the scarf) Speaking of library books, I had one go missing for 3 months. We searched and searched and searched (as you have) and I could have sworn I checked all of our bookshelves (we have lots) but there, lo and behold, it appeared on our bookshelf one day. I’m with AK Patti – your guardian angels will slip it onto the shelves (or someplace else just as obvious) only when they’re ready.

  6. Make the librarians look. Swear to the that you returned it. This has worked for me.

    If it makes you feel any better, I’ve lost the antenna to my car. Took it off to get the car washed and haven’t seen it since. If you find the antenna to a 2004 Toyota Matrix, it is mine.

    At least you found the important thing- the Valentine’s Scarf. I think that is a really good Idea. I may have to steal it and make one for myself for next year.

  7. The only sure way to find the missing book is to go to the library and pay for it. It’s almost certain to turn up the very next day, especially if the library won’t refund your money.

  8. This is toooo funny. When we were in college, my husband confided to me that he had never read any of those ridiculously awful/hilarious romance novels – like, the ones you buy for 99 cents at the grocery store. So one Saturday night, off we went to the library and picked out the most ridiculous romance novel we could find – from the Italian Husbands series of all things. We had a good giggle and then …. the book disappeared. For the life of me, in a small dorm room – I could not find it. I searched everywhere. I started getting notices from the library and finally received a notice that I owed the full price of the book – $15. Who has ever paid $15 for a soft cover crappy romance novel?!?!?

    When I was moving out my freshmen year, I found the book. But by then, I was far too embarrassed to even return it – I mean, to even admit I had checked it out in the first place, let alone kept it a year …. So I had to go the rest of my college experience never stepping into the local library. Ha!

  9. unabridgedgirl

    Okay. So…I am completely jealous that you can knit. I have tried to learn to knit several times and have failed miserably each time. Also, the first sentence of your post made me grin.

  10. Did you look in the bathroom? Sometimes reading material ends up in that room, in my experience.

    I sympathize about the memory thing though. I, too, suffer from the heartbreak of CRS (Can’t Remember Shit.)

  11. It’s amazing how much stuff can hide under the seats in the car! I once looked for my car keys for half an hour and finally found them under the passenger seat EVEN after I had looked there at least 3 times prior! Now the story of the reappearance of your toy shovel (which btw is adorable!)… I believe in 4th dimension…

    p.s. You didn’t even write about this: did you and DB give each other the same Valentine’s Day card?! So Romantic!!!!

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