Dots from Weinermobile World

Although I don’t believe myself to be a hypochondriac,  I’m probably this close to the line: o|

A couple of weeks ago I went for my annual mammogram.   It isn’t just the physical act of having someone ram one’s boobs into a pasta machine that causes anxiety, then there’s the wait for the Official Letter.  I know there are places where they tell you on the spot, but mine isn’t one of them.

The Letter came about three or four days after my mammogram.  Everything was copasetic.  Great!  But later that same evening as I was enjoying a bubble bath,  I rubbed the washcloth over my right breast and felt a little sting on the right underside where it was hard to see.

I felt it.  There was definitely something there.

After I dried off,  I stood  before my lighted mirror with the magic Big Eye to the 12th power that can make anything scary.  Sure enough, in the middle of an orange-ish mole I’ve had for ages was a raised, round black spot. When I touched it,  there was that little sting again.   Also, the texture of the entire mole had changed.  It was now dry and wrinkled, like a peeling sunburn.

I put on my robe,  went to the den where I sat down between Dearly Beloved and his TV ballgame.  I opened my robe.

The shock on that man’s face. . . !  NOTHING gets between DB and a ballgame except the occasional nap.

“Look at this,” I said, pointing to the spot.  “What do you think it is?”

He sighed, picked up his jaw, and looked at the spot.

“Hmm.  I don’t know.  How long has it been there?”

I shrugged.  “My mammogram was fine.”

He looked closely.  It WAS worrying.

We looked at pictures on the computer.  Plenty of photos of black specks on brown moles, but none looked anything like mine.  My spot was hard and round, like a BB.  We decided I should call the doctor on Monday as it was obviously fast growing.  It hadn’t been there the week before.

Later,  I found myself scratching at the itchy skin around the black spot.  It was rough and dry, almost like a scab over the entire mole surface.  The texture was so dry,  it felt like I could peel it right off.  I told myself I shouldn’t mess with it, then promptly started picking at it gently with my fingernail.  A bit of it relaxed and I nudged it along,  loosening it like a piece of old Scotch tape.  It came off in one piece.  Weird.  It looked like a clear plastic dot with a black thing in the middle.

It WAS a clear plastic dot with black thing in the middle.  It looked like a peppercorn.  The technician must have stuck it there to mark the mole for the radiologist.

Now I’m all for people being good at their jobs… so good they can sneak a dot on a mole without the molee feeling it.  I think it would be nice, though, if they’d remove it.  Or at least make mention of it!

People who grew up when I did, in the 50’s, have probably had more than their share of radiation.   It’s a wonder my feet haven’t fallen off from all the x-raying they had in the “fluoroscope” at the shoe department of our town’s department store.

We not only stuck our feet in to see our bones in our Buster Browns when we were buying shoes, we played with ’em while our mamas were buying their shoes.  They were as accessible to kids as a gumball machine, so I’d check my feet after ‘the picture show” every Saturday, hoping they’d grown enough to require a new pair of Mary Janes.

Some of those machines were still in use in the 1970’s and even 80’s.  They were banned state by state and quietly removed from stores.  I think they were invented by the guy who went on to invent the Oscar Meyer Wienermobile.

Strange world.

Here is one of the very early ads for the technology.  It’s enough to give Manolo Blahnik the heebie jeebies.

You know, the “imaging department” where I had my mammogram could even have added a line or two to that Official Letter:

Your mammogram was clear.  So was the black dot we stuck onto your mole.  You may remove it now.   Nothing to worry about.  Just a little piece of rubber from an old Weinermobile tire.


11 thoughts on “Dots from Weinermobile World

  1. That was just so very funny, thanks for a morning chuckle at your expense. Sooo glad there was a simple answer.
    Guess that is one way to interrupt a ball game. Always good to know you still have it.
    Rest easy.

  2. Jincey08

    My friends and I probably broke the fluoroscope in our Belk shoe department! We loved to look at the bones in our feet, and nobody seemed to mind!

  3. OK. I don’t know what was scarier, the thought that you might be faced with a dreadful medical issue, or that you had to put yourself between your Man and a Game. And honestly, the only way to get any kind of attention, even if you are stark naked and READY, is to get between the tv set and the Man. I was riveted to the story and relieved to read that it was all okay. Thank goodness you were not faced with the expense and humiliation of having a piece of taped removed by your doctor!

  4. Please do not joke about freakish mole-like things again–I just about peed myself, picturing you with Booby Melanoma. But then I wondered…when has Mary Lee been frolicking around in the sun topless? Does she have some cool alternate life that I don’t know about?? For a minute there, I almost envied your Booby Melanoma.

    Clearly, I am not right in the head.

    1. No, I have definitely not been sunning topless. (Even if I did, I could hide them in my armpits.)
      Speaking of such, I just looked out my front window and two nubile teens in bikinis were running up the sidewalk, waving signs that said CAR WASH FOR HAITI. We’re expecting a HIGH of 59 today! YOWSAH!

      J–our fluoroscope was in a Belk store, too–Belk-Tyler back in the days of wooden floors, now it’s Belk’s with tiled floors.

      Kim–it would have indeed been embarrassing. I’m sure my chart already says, “Crazy???”

      AP–yeah, I’ve still got it but not in the same places. Good thing ball game wasn’t close.

  5. Whew! Glad it turned out alright. Days after my mother came home from that night at the ER, we kept finding stickers on her where they had hooked her up to the EKG monitor and other machines. It got to be kind of a “Where’s Waldo?” game.

    The last time I had a mammogram, the tech put stickers with a metal dot in the center on each nipple. (To tell up from down?) I almost forgot to take them off before getting dressed. Can you imagine setting off a metal detector somewhere with those? Nipples as weapons of mass destruction.

  6. Gee..i was wondering if you were going to have an x rated post there for a while…
    no telling what the open robe can do for a man..

    anyway..i think it weird that they put a tape with a pepper-corny black dot..and why did it hurt you..
    was it the pull of the tape..???
    and do u have pictures of the dot..??
    not on you :)…but i am curious to see what the cuprit looks like that caused all the commotion..

  7. {{{{hugs}}}} You are able to laugh now. I am sure you and DB were probably majorly worried. I am glad it is something we can all laugh together now.

  8. You make me laugh. But I know the feeling. Usually I’m afraid I might have something worrying late at night, when there’s no doctor’s office open. I’ll worry all night and when I wake up in the morning, I’m done worrying, feel fine and won’t go to see a doctor anyway, because they scare me even more than being really ill.

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