Fixin’ To Be Vixen

Do you remember the scenes in which Sally Albright (Meg Ryan) placed her restaurant order in the movie When Harry Met Sally ?  (And don’t forget Jack Nicholson’s order for plain toast in Five Easy Pieces!)  While I’m not at all picky about food,  I do have a list of pecularities when it comes to clothes, especially nightwear–which, admittedly, stays on my body well into the day sometimes.

Whenever our kids ask Dearly Beloved for “mom gift” suggestions, sleepwear is at the top of his list.  In fact, getting old mom something different to sleep in could well be a gift to HIM, he is so horrified at the things I wear to bed.

I usually find my nocturnal wardrobe on clearance racks, so I have an array of pajamas and gowns with dogs, cats, or frogs on them.  One sleep shirt features highway signs.  Simply reading my rear end could give one an encyclopedic knowledge of Route 66 in the 50’s.

My flannel items have been banished to the bottom of the drawer.   Flannel and hot flashes are totally incompatible.

There is, too, the related issue of bathrobes.  A wrap robe with a tie is not made for my body shape.  I used to wear those until I looked over my shoulder into a mirror once.  It looked like someone was backing a blanketed nag out of a horse trailer.

I try to find the kind of robe that zips or buttons instead.  Hah!  They’re either made of polyester fleece thick enough for Alaskan sleepwalkers or chenille, which is a tad better, but gets thin on the butt area in record time.  I must squirm when I sit and I sit often.  (Take note; “butt” and “thin” don’t appear in the same sentence around here very often.)

DB, who giveth sermons of frugality on one hand, exempteth my sleep wardrobe from any financial constraints.  He suggests–no, BEGS–that I frequent lingerie departments. He’s not expecting Victoria’s Secret, just something without puppy dogs.

I lucked out this year when Pogo called from a department store before Christmas and asked for my preferences (which is why I brought up the When Harry Met Sally scene.)   For someone who wears truly tasteless sleepwear, I have a long laundry list of specifications as to what I will wear.

For instance, it must be a soft fabric with no scratchy trim…must be loose but not tent-like…neither sleeveless nor long-sleeved since I run hot and cold.  Neither scooped, thin-strapped, or high-necked.  No interfacing that needs ironing to keep it from rubbing.  Should not be so long as to get tangled in or so short as to cause inadvertent mooning.

Darned if the girl didn’t succeed!  I’d never heard of modal, but I love it and yes, DB loves it, too!  The v-neckline and short sleeves are bound with satin.  Truly comfortable, even feels a little sensuous.  (blush!)

Years ago, when Son was about five or six, he had his dad take him to several stores until he found exactly what he was looking for–Charlie cologne.  At the time their TV commercial featured a Mary Tyler Moore-like woman.  I was touched that he would think of me in  an attractive, “together” mode, instead of the “muumuu mom” image I had of myself.   I still have that bottle.

Mary Tyler Moore would not wear kitty cat cotton pajamas.

This year, Son gave me another gift which could represent the direction he thinks I’m heading.  Perhaps I’ll let my modal nightie be a launching pad for a more “with it” me.   Forget Mary Tyler Moore; Son’s latest gift will be my new inspiration.  Her name is “Vixen.”

"Vixen"
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15 thoughts on “Fixin’ To Be Vixen

  1. Oh you make me laugh! I have a teal green velour zip up robe that I have had for more years than I care to acknowledge. Maybe it was motherhood that made me realize that the belted robe thing was just not working. My green robe nearly disgusts me, but it is just the right amount of warm-but-not-hot and I have not seen a suitable replacement. I was halfway afraid that I would get a new robe for Christmas, but apparently my robe has achieved the magic of an invisibility cloak.

  2. cw

    Vixen is LOVELY!! Lucky thing, she gets to wear TWO PAIRS of those adorable pumps! Laughed out loud when you described the back of your pj’s with route info for 66 – great tv show, btw! I love my sock monkey pj’s – my pink elephants – and my christmas pink flamingos. Shugah thankfully never complains – until he stops snoring, he doesn’t dare. 🙂
    (when you started off with Meg Ryan and the restaurant, I thought you were going to ‘visit’ her famous … shall we say ‘vixen’ scene?? :):)
    Vixen, strut it!!:):)

  3. I hate to admit, but my pajamas are scrubs. We got a huge box of them at a garage sale, and they are just so darn comfortable. These are not the cutesy scrubs, but the basic blue ones that doctors at hospitals wear.

  4. My winter p.j.’s are from Walmart and are made of a really soft fleece that doesn’t pill–I hate pilling! My summer sleepwear is VERY basic since it gets so hot here–cotton underwear, no top. How exotic! Not really. When you sleep with a little dog that insists on sticking to you like Elmer’s glue and also the occasional cat or two—less is definitely more. (Premarin takes care of the hot flashes quite nicely, by the way.)

    Funny, since it’s been so cold, today I bought the first bathrobe I’ve had in ages at, where else, Walmart. Another soft fleecey type–it’s a wrap robe and I’m sure my butt will look like the tail end of a semi heading down the highway, but I’ll be warm!

  5. Nothing like a good laugh before dinner to help digestion. Thanks.
    I am a worn out soft tee shirt person my self unless a remnant hot flash from the good ole days finds me then, it is nada.

  6. becky

    I have a serious pajama problem as well. 🙂 Everything in my ‘criteria’ must be just right. I always would tease my mom about her silly night-time ways, but turns out, I may be worse! I really enjoyed this today, it made my day today! My favorite, by the way, Gap Body, they have a wonderful ‘slick’ yet smooth line and it’s just my new favorite.

  7. i just threw out the maternity nursing nightgown that I bought for myself after my firstborn arrived. She is now almost 12. ahem.
    I decided just last night to toss it in, after I tied it into a knot (so as to mark it as truly garbage lest “someone” remove it from the garbage, a perpetual effort of helpfulness combined with frugality that my DB exhibits when emptying the trash…don’t ask how many things are living in his garage because they are “perfectly good” and he might be able to sell them or use parts off of them or something).
    The truth is I feel most comfortable in footie pjs (sans footies and flap) but they give off a certain “I have a headache” vibe that probably is not very attractive to my mate. At least wearing these I can avoid the need for the “horse backing out of the stall” robe! OMGosh. Never thought of it that way. Better tie a giant knot in the ancient threadbare green robe…

  8. I just love this post because it’s just like me. I’m sooo picky about my sleep wear (with similar requirements) and just as unlucky at finding the perfect ones. Congrats to you, though! I know how good you must feel!

  9. As someone who practically lives in pajamas I have to tell you that this post was wet-your-pants funny! I work at home as a graphic designer and my little business is called Pajama Graphics. Didn’t take me long to come up with the name either. I always tell everyone its a good thing I’m not married, with my choice of pjs, it would not last long.

    Then, I saw your Vixen and flashes of green with envy danced before my eyes, I so wanted her sister Dancer!

  10. This is too funny, but you sund like me staying in P.J.’s well into the day sometimes. I have started with hot flashes yet…that scares me to no end.

    Thank you for taking the time to stop by my blog and leave a comment!

  11. This post cracked me up! I was watching Oprah the other day and that episode’s featured fashionista recommended getting new PJs every year and I had to shiver when the models came out wearing the recommended brand styles — no fleece in sight! All’s I could think of was, “well obviously this woman does NOT live in Minnesota in the winter!”
    At my house, from October to April, if it’s warm and fuzzy, it’s pajamas–preferably featuring snowflake or polar bear prints!

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