Thanksgiving with the Turkeys

Rebellious ear syndrome is not something I’ve ever read about, but I’m pretty sure I have it.

Last week when I was getting ready for the beach wedding, I had a problem putting a simple gold earring on my left ear.   The earring post would go in okay, but it  wouldn’t come out the back.  I tried other earrings.  No problem.  I tried both earrings in the right ear.  No problem.   I labored for about 20 minutes and finally went to the ceremony with naked earlobes.

Admittedly, I don’t wear earrings often.  Sweat pants don’t call for them.  Still, if other earrings (or earbobs, as Dearly Beloved insists on calling them) go through, the opening hasn’t grown over.  Tell it to the ear.

Yesterday, since it was just the two of us, DB and I went out on the town for Thanksgiving dinner.  “Out on the town” meant a delightful meal in a beautiful restaurant on the 24th floor of an uptown building.  It also meant eating at 11 AM to get DB back home in front of the TV for all the football.  Sleeping through TV sports is one of his favorite holiday traditions.

I pulled out the earrings again–my favorites because they’re pretty, lightweight, and comfortable.  I put on the right earring; no sweat. The left one?  Nothing doing.  I took out the right earring and tried it in the left ear.  Nope.  Wouldn’t go there.

I put another earring in my left ear and tried to get the post of the gold one to follow the path.  Nothing doing.  I put a heavy one on and pulled it around to enlarge the hole.  (Don’t mess with me!)  Didn’t help.

In frustration, I put the earring in as far as it would go and found DB reading the paper.  “Look at the hole in the back of my ear lobe and guide this earring through it,” I asked.

You’d have thought I’d asked him to lance a boil or sew my fingers together.

“Sheeenga hongggga. . . Gaaahhhhhhh. . .  urp. . . aaaahhhhhh!  I can’t do this!” he told me after a full 15 seconds of trying.

I went back to the mirror to try again, but my left ear was the color of a raw turkey neck.  I tossed the earrings back in the jewelry box and went naked again.

We had forgotten that all the streets were blocked off for what’s said to be the  fourth largest Christmas parade in the country.  Not just one street, but blocks and blocks, and the cross streets as well.   Just like with the earring, we were at a loss as to how to thread our way to the other side.

With all the fog, it looked like the high rise view wasn’t going to matter.   This is “uptown” Charlotte.  It used to be “downtown” Charlotte until the city bigwigs decreed it otherwise.  Their thread of logic is that it sits on a rise, therefore “downtown” is incorrect.  “Uptown” doesn’t seem all that correct either.  Uptown needs department stores and they’ve all moved to the malls.   There are plenty of bank buildings, however.

Was it a good idea to have him wandering around during Thanksgiving dinner?   It’s not like having Santa Claus visit during Christmas dinner.  He looked grouchy, perhaps because he wasn’t going to Disneyland.  Then again, are there any eye openings for the stuffee inside?   Oh well, he couldn’t see my turkey neck earlobe.

Someone had to lead him around.  Sounds like a job for the birds.

The elegant buffet was set up in two different rooms and I rose to the challenge of trying it all.  DB was much choosier.  He ate mostly salmon.  Maybe the ear surgery had grossed him more than I realized.  Or perhaps the sullen turkey psyched him out.

One seat in the entire place that gave a view of the Carolina Panthers’ practice field–his.  They practiced while we ate.

This was my view.  I was intrigued with the tiny little cemetery across from the big church.

The fog disappeared before dessert.

I don’t know the name of the second building from the right.  I call it the Mad Hatter building.  It is shaped like his hat.  This is not a very illustrative view.  I’ll do better another time–when there is no parade.  

The building pictured below  is the Bank of America building. Hugh McColl was CEO when it was erected, so Locals call this the Taj McColl.

When the bank first began here, it was called North Carolina National Bank.  We didn’t fault them for getting bigger britches, but we hope the headquarters remain here.

There is another structure uptown also named for Bank of America.   It started as Carolinas Stadium, then Ericsson Stadium.  It would be a shame for the fickle finger of fate to decree a different name.    

On street level, the trees were lighted festively.  The viewing stands and TV trucks were still blocking the streets, but the parade had ended.

Close your eyes, white light purists, there are some bodacious lights out there !  Charlotte didn’t have any difficulty putting on HER colorful jewelry!

This picture is an optical illusion.  The building actually DOES have a pointy head.

No doubt some turkeys were hanging around this corner, too.

We had to ride the elevator again to get to our car.  I’m not sure why, but these pipes intrigued me.

Back in our neighborhood, things weren’t as festive.   This is located on a nearby corner. How uncouth!

Hang a wreath on the door, you turkeys!

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8 thoughts on “Thanksgiving with the Turkeys

  1. Loved the photographs of the city! And I haven’t heard the phrase “ear bob” since my mother died in 1988. Sorry about the favorite earring. When the ear has healed, dip the post in liberal amounts of Neosporin and try it that way. It’s not possible you tried to put the earring in with the back still on the post, is it? 🙂

    I suppose all turkeys have a right to be sullen on Thanksgiving Day, but surely they don’t have to walk round advertising it. He is one sour looking dude. Perhaps you should have reminded him of that interview Sarah Palin did with the turkey “grinder” in back! Might have perked him up a little.

  2. I enjoyed your tour of downtown Charlotte. We were there visiting friends who live (not sure whether it is uptown or downtown) on Church Street a couple of months ago and walked to the Zinc restaurant for lunch with them and went to the City Club for dinner where the view of the city was gorgeous. I like to say we went to Charlotte to visit our money with all of the bank headquarters there.

    I have trouble with earrings also. Maybe because I didn’t get mine pierced until later in life.

    Hope you had a nice Thanksgiving and thanks for stopping by my kitchen.
    Sam

  3. I have a wonky pierced ear like that, too! It’s my right one. It makes me nuts. I think the ear lobe is like…double jointed or something (and yeah, I know that’s not possible).

    Loved the tour of Charlotte!

  4. The restaurant did offer a wonderful view! That porter potty needs some Christmas light around it. That would solve the eye-sore problem!

    I have the same exact issue with putting in earrings: one side fine. The other side disaster. Thank you so much for putting the experience into such nice prose now I can just print it out and show it to my husband to explain why I cry every time I try to put in my earrings!

  5. Btw, WTH is with that scary turkey? Sent by PETA? Can’t blame your husband for not wanting to eat turkey after coming face to face with that monstrosity…

  6. Penny

    Oh your descriptions are cheering me up immesurably . I’m not one to complain about the weather but it has been AWFUL for weeks now !

    Naked ear lobes ! Mine have been naked since my second child was born & I couldn’t be bothered with earings anymore. He is 13 now & I’m thinking of getting them re- pierced . oh and getting a tattoo !!!

    ( I’m 46 and not someone you would imagine would want a tatoo )

  7. What a funny post. YOu are really observant. It is kind of scary when we can capture what we are thinking in our heads with a camera and then have permission to write about it! LOL! we are always watching….

    Try putting the earring in from the back first. THen after you get them in put neosporin on or rubbing alcohol. iT hurts. yes. But your ears have grown over in the back, MIne do it all the time. THen you get the earrings in and they itch for four days until they heal up and hold the hole…I don’t know why I felt compelled to tell you this, but I did. I’m thinking naked is the way to go….but I don’t wanna.

    Happy Thanksgiving! and why did the Macy’s day parade start? to get people out shopping? is this because no one has an oven big enough to make a real turkey in a NY apt so they might as well not be home making the bird and they actually have time to be on the sidewalks…? Hmmm.

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