Christmas shopping is not one of the things Dearly Beloved and I do well together. I think it’s the man thing. . . .
“Go to the mall. . . NOW??? (hyperventilate, gasp, wheeze) Not NOW!”
We’ve already had this conversation several times. He likes to do all his shopping Christmas Eve, when the merchandise looks like roadkill and “his kind” (read husbands) fill the aisles.
Thus, when he announced he was going Christmas shopping yesterday–before Thanksgiving, for goodness’ sakes–I was mystified.
Wha’ the. . . ?
Five grandsons, our kids and their spouses–three guys, three girls. He’d find something for all of them, he told me, unless I said otherwise.
Where was this shopper’s paradise where he could find something for everyone?
The pro shop at the golf course.
“Maybe just concentrate on the three guys,” I suggested, picturing the three-year-old opening a dozen golf balls for Christmas.
He accomplished his mission quickly, returning with three golf shirts made of that fabric he says golfers love. So do golfers’ wives; the shirts don’t require ironing. Size in our family is simple–the guys all want XL and all the girls are S. (For size purposes, consider me a guy.)
“The colors may be a problem,” I told him. He’d gotten one white, one black, one pink. It was that last one that concerned me. DB wears pink, looks great in pink, and the talking heads on TV often wear pink shirts or ties. But our guys? I didn’t think so.
DB dashed off an e-mail to the girls:
Today, before leaving the beach, I bought a golf shirt for each of your husbands. The shirts are exactly alike except for the color; 1 black, 1 white and 1 pink. Mary is not sure any of your men would like the pink. I like the pink. I’ve had many pink golf shirts and liked them all. Of course I wore some in the day when polyester lime green pants were popular. However I’ve worn many since, and have had many pink dress shirts. Boo gave me a pink tie that I still have.
The question is: are any of your men not man enough to wear pink?
Daughter-in-law wrote back immediately:
M has a pink button up shirt that he wears frequently…he is DEFINITELY man enough to wear pink! 🙂
Next came a note from Pogo:
Husband is not. Middle son is.
(Pogo has three sons. The oldest one wears anything as long as it’s comfortable. It can be inside out, too small, too large. He doesn’t care. Middle son, the slugger who looks like a young James Dean, makes Ralph Lauren look like a slob. Don’t try to get him to ditch the belt or he’ll knock your block off. Youngest son prefers nudity. Hand-me-downs are useless in that family.)
Daughter Boo sent regrets, also.
I’m embarrassed to say it, but C is not man enough. I have tried to help him become comfortable with his own macho by giving him pink shirts in the past. Alas, they still hang in the closet...
DB took it all in stride. He responded:
Thanks for your quick responses. Looks like M is the winner. I’ll keep C and K in black, white, tan and light blue until their sons show them what THEY can do. I’m glad more than you know. I almost got a purple and a light green and white stripe instead of the black and white ones.
Oh well, he can still exercise his creativity when he buys my gift on Christmas Eve.
I’m sure those colors will be available.
(“Pinkie” by Sir Thomas Lawrence)