Horoscopes aren’t my thing. I wake up assuming it’s going to be a good day, taking my cue from the very act of waking up. Any accompanying brain fog, sinus headache, backache, puffiness, or cowlicks will probably pass as the day continues.
For some reason I read my horoscope this morning and was baffled. It rates my day as ***** –a five-star day–which means it will be DYNAMIC. Something’s fishy here though, because then it says, for my dynamic day, “Your actions could come back to haunt you. Vagueness could become a bigger problem.”
Next I read DB’s horoscope, also a five-star day, which advises, “You get a sense that not everyone gets what you share. Look at your communication.”
How can either of us have a Dynamic Day with those predictions? Both of them sound pretty blah to me. Dynamic is more explosive…powerful. These couldn’t be more milquetoast.
It becomes clear about ten minutes later when DB tells me, “You know, I’ve been thinking. . . . ”
Hmmmm. I wonder what my beloved is about to say? “You’re right–the living room chairs DO need to be recovered” or perhaps, “I think I’ll get a load of mulch and fix your rose bed like you wanted.” Or even, “Let’s go out for a Monday morning waffle.” (After all, my friend Beanie tells me it IS National Waffle Week.)
What he says, this sensitive man of mine, is, “You know the noise a horse makes when it blows out?” He makes a sound to clarify exactly which noise he means.
“That’s the noise you make when you snore. You breathe in, then make that sound when you breathe out. Wonder why that is.”
I’ve never believed in horoscopes before, but to quote My Cousin Vinny’s Mona Lisa Vito, as I often do, today’s entries seem to be “dead on balls accurate.”
I’ll worry about my filly-to-stud actions coming back to haunt me later. For now, I’ll be certain to heed the rest of today’s advice; vagueness will definitely not be a problem.
Mindful of what week it is. . . no waffling.