Merrily at the Movies

Since it rained Wednesday,  Dearly Beloved and I went to see Julia and Julie.

It wasn’t like we’d have been working outside otherwise,  but DB has this thing that one goes to the movies only on rainy days because one never knows when the outside activity urge may strike.   (Sometimes that fixation of his gives ME an urge to strike, but we’ll save that story for another time. . . . )

To go anywhere on a rainy day isn’t always simple.   Rain is okay,  but if there is thunder or lightning we don’t leave Miss Piggy.  I have mentioned before that she lived in a rabbit cage made of chicken wire at a filthy puppy mill. Having seen how storm-traumatized she is and realizing what she must have endured all those years, we make sure she isn’t alone during storms.  We have tranquilizers for her, but having us around  helps most.  She still heads for one of her hidey holes, but she’s not frantic like she used to be.

DB’s rainy day movie theory must be commonplace because the theatre was over half full for the 1PM showing.   It was mostly older women:  I’m talking friends-of-Julia kind of older. He and I looked like the youngsters there, except for the 40-ish snot a couple of seats over who kept her darned cellphone on the whole time, turned our way so as not to annoy her friend.  It kept lighting up in our peripheral vision every few minutes.

Besides my husband, there were only three other guys comfortable enough with their manhood to be there.  (MY MAN even ate a quiche afterwards– I was inspired to go home and make a tomato and Vidalia onion tart.)

Mostly it was an audience of the older women, some of whom arrived in groups of six or so with strong opinions on where to sit:

“Where do you want to sit?”

“I’m not going up too far because my foot hurts.

“Well, can’t we at least go up far enough that people aren’t walking in front of us?”

“I’m sitting right here on the front row.  You go all the way to the top if you want to.”

“No, I’ll stay here and hope there’s not much traffic.”

“Look, there’s Clarice up there!  CLARICE. . . HELLO!  Go on up there and sit with Clarice.”

I will give them kudos for being pretty quiet once the movie started which was a surprise, because they had made their opinions known about the previews.   Unfortunately, the woman behind us took over the narrative during the feature, giving a  commentary to her younger companion and all around her as to what Meryl Streep was trying to get across as if it were a silent movie.  (You understand–Meryl’s acting skills being so amateurish. . . .)

She’s going to mess it up“. . . “She’s doesn’t like her“. . . and once, “SHE’S PISSED OFF!”   Until that point, I’d thought that her 30-ish companion might be a granddaughter, but since that didn’t elicit a Grandma! response,  perhaps not.

DB had announced before we left that he didn’t want to eat popcorn.  Fine–we’d just eaten lunch anyway.  Once inside the theatre, however,  he asked, “Do you want popcorn?”

Trick question.  To quote the ever-eloquent Mona Lisa Vito as she testified in the trial of My Cousin Vinny, It’s a bullshit question, it’s impossible to answer.”

I responded with a shrug.  “Whatever you want.  I’ll eat some if you get it.”

That sounds like a wimpy response, but this man is a popcorn addict.   Daughter Boo’s first part-time job was at a Wisconsin movie theatre,  and she would delight him by bringing home the leftover popcorn.  Not a giant popcorn like the one we pay $5 for these days, but a rain barrel-sized amount sometimes.  He would eat it all within a day or so.

After Boo took another job and even after she went away to college,  other kids would occasionally bring it to him. DB’s popcorn appetite was legendary.

So, if he was trying to back off the corn now,  I didn’t want to tempt him.  I enjoy munching during a movie, too, but it’s not like I need the calories.  If he could do without, so would I.  He was still contemplating at the counter when I went in to find seats.

He came in carrying a small bag of popcorn and a large drink and was shocked. . . SHOCKED. . . when I stuck my hand in the bag.

“I thought you said you didn’t want any!

I glared at him and sipped on the giant Coke.  Wouldn’t you know,  an audience full of aging bladders and mine was the first one to send out an SOS.  It wasn’t something I could ignore and even though I hurried,   DB informed me afterwards that I missed a very funny part.  Damn!

Next time we go, it’s back to a large popcorn.  I need it to soak up the drink.

Oh. . . the movie?  Two thumbs up!

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7 thoughts on “Merrily at the Movies

  1. You have listed only a few of the reasons I refuse to go to movies at the theater. I’ll wait for the DVD, thank you very much. I can’t wait to see this one. Glad you enjoyed it.

  2. texastrailerparktrash

    I took my Mother yesterday to see this movie and had many of the same experiences you did. It was “old home week” behind us with several older couples talking loudly before the movie started, so I had the same trepidations. Plus, they were bad-mouthing Ted Kennedy (“you know those Kennedys are inbred”) so I was squirming in my seat and wondering if we could move (not an easy task with my almost 90 yea-old mother.) But I almost laughed out loud with a big “HA!” when Julia and Dort were talking about not wanting to marry those boring Republicans! Sweet….

    I hadn’t been to the movies in about 25 years. My “Starter Husband” was such a movie buff we went at least every week and once saw a triple feature at the drive-in and then when we got home he watched another movie on television. I kind of felt I’d had enough to last me awhile.

    Loved this one though, especially since I’d gotten “My Life in France” at the library and knew a lot of the background stuff.

    P.S.–Didn’t eat or drink anything during the film, so didn’t need to pee. Although the folks behind me were full of it!

  3. I rarely go to a movie. I prefer to get it from Netflix and watch at my own leisure. I hadn’t even thought about all the talking and cell phones! I think I really would enjoy this one as I love anything with Meryl in it! I’m a popcorn addict too!

  4. hee hee…I love popcorn..but hate paying so much for it…my “financially aware” husband as he calls himself…buys the large tub…u get free refills so he brings plastic bags…fills the plastic bags up and goes to get his free refill…feels like he isnt getting so ripped off!
    I have a backpack pocket book…i like bringing my own favorite bagged popcorn and drink..I hate being ripped off at movie theatres…It really makes me mad!
    wouldnt they make more money and have less of us sneaking food in if they made the prices more reasonable!
    Gurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
    OK..sorry..
    I am like a camel and can hold it for a long time…

  5. Mary Z

    So glad to hear you went to see J&J. My preference is for seeing movies in theaters, which I prefer because of the total focus you get. At our movie house, it’s $4 for seniors on Friday day times. Also, not many come to the earliest show, which reduces distractions.

    I read that movie houses don’t make money on the cost of a ticket, but on the concessions.

    I watched J&J twice and would love to go again but don’t want to tire of it.

    A bunch of ladies are having a Julia dinner party this week. Pearls required! I tried the Baked Cucumbers with the intention of making it at our hostess’s home, but decided it wouldn’t blend with her Boeuf Bourginon, so I’m bringing a selection of wines! So Julia! So French!

    1. I’m sure you’re right about the movie profits. Sometimes when we go there are only one or two other people seeing the same show we are.

      I love the Julia party idea. Would love to hear more. A friend saw the movie and left the theatre with a craving so strong he went home and found the recipe on line, went back out to the grocery store and bought ingredients, prepared it, and finally ate boeuf bourguignon just before midnight.

  6. 247things

    Movie theaters are dangerous destinations. No, I’m not talking about the 11,962 calories that one consumes by eating the popcorn, Junior Mints, Sugar Babies and other delectable delights. I’m actually referring to the fact that once in the theater you’re trapped for a couple of hours without cell phone access (assuming you shut your phone off or don’t bother to look at it when it vibrates). Meanwhile a burglar is ransacking your home in the most leisurely fashion. When you return home the jewelry will be gone. Ditto the various electronic devices, the Yorkshire Terrier and the silverware. Oh, and your wine is missing as well.

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