Want to Hop into my Handbasket?

Am I getting smarter or is the rest of the country. . . um, never mind.  Don’t pay any attention to me.  I’m here in the corner, googling HANDBASKET patterns. 

A couple of weeks ago I turned on The Today Show as Matt Lauer hyped their leading features:  Madonna and her adoption of her Malawian baby, Mercy; Sarah Palin and David Letterman and the bad joke saga; and Donald Trump sacking  firing Miss California, who he said was nice to him but no one else.  (Gee, I’d have bet that would move her to the top of his list!  I suppose she did, too.)

Hello. . . ?   War?  Health care?  Jobs?  Economy?  Hunger?  Shouldn’t we be hearing about  those things whether they’re sexy or not?  And oh yes, when we DO talk about  them,  shouldn’t we have someone who has a working brain leading the discussions–pro and con– instead of the party extremes shooting off canned lines?   As my grandmother used to say, I’d rather be put behind a mule and farted to death than to have to listen to James Carville and Mary Matalin one more time.

The same day Lauer was hyping the hurl-worthy, I opened the newspaper to see that Sonny and Cher’s daughter, Chastity, plans to have a sex change operation.  I would think  it will also entail a name change.   Unless she’s  dating one of my grandchildren, I wish her luck, but this already gives me more than I needed to know.

I like Matt Lauer.  I like diversion and entertainment.  I just don’t like it served to me before breakfast as NEWS.  Perhaps I can help him guide his network in their selection:

Jon and Kate?  Eliminate.

Hear more on Madonna?  Don’t wanna.

Miss California/Donald Trump?  Don’t be a chump!

Letterman/Sarah Palin?  My patience is thin; not EVEN on a bearskin!

John Edwards, the mistress, and the “maybe his” tot?   My interest in him  is diddley-squat.

Gov. Sanford and the Argentine divorcee?  Calgon, take them BOTH away!!

If we’re going to have a Congress that votes a straight party line and if we insist on VOTING along straight party lines without regard to…oh, say, INTELLIGENCE… why don’t we simply eliminate all the expenses entailed therein and have representatives at minimal salary who can receive the party e-mail about how to vote and simply phone it in?  I’m tired of hearings AFTER the fact to give them a forum for their pontification and posturing.    Can’t we find senators who’ll  think and reason beyond the 15-second sound byte? 

I believe our President IS thinking.   I may not like everything he does, but I believe he’s seeking opinions from men and women of intellect and knowledge of the situations they’re discussing.  If neither party likes what he’s doing, he’s obviously not toeing a party line for either.  

And oh yeah. . . I think Rush Limbaugh is nuts.  I hope he leaves his brain to science.  Something is askew.

When I read the newspaper these days and don’t know the “celebrities”  they’re telling me are divorcing, having a baby, going in or out of rehab, hitting a cameraman or a girlfriend, I don’t feel “old” that I don’t know them…I feel smart!   My brain can only hold so much and I’d like for it to be something besides the object of Paris Hilton’s latest snit or even which one of the Jonas Brothers is diabetic.  I can’t take the risk that my grandkids’ names might spill out in the overflow.  Heck, I already have trouble with their birthdays.

I want a President who is  smarter than I am,  wise Senators and Representatives who hold the interest of somebody besides themselves foremost in their decisions,  investigative news reporters who seek clarity on  issues that matter rather than gossip, and oh yes, those  24-hour news channels. . . ? 

I don’t want those at all.


5 thoughts on “Want to Hop into my Handbasket?

  1. cw

    HALLELUJAH!! AMEN! AND SOMEBODY PLEASE PHONE THIS POST IN TO THE WHITE HOUSE, THE IN HOUSE, THE OUT HOUSE, EVERYBODY’S HOUSE!!:):) Clapping my hands while standing, Mzmerrilymarylee – you nailed this one about like those mules your grandmother mentioned – which by the way, is HYSTERICAL!!! Now, if elected…. will you…l.?….. :):)

  2. blueheron

    You may not feel old, but I do. I remember when papers printed the news. I was shocked at Marilyn Monroe’s “suicide”, but I didn’t expect the newspapers to cover the front page with her life, ditto when Elvis passed. Why then is Michael Jackson, who after all was just a talented celebrity, dominating the front pages–not one or two stories, the whole front page? The news was his death; one retrospective article on page one is sufficient.
    I feel old because there are many people who have much to give to their families and our world, yet they have terminal illnesses. Why does the 24 hour news cycle want to whip us into a frenzy of mourning for someone who chose his death?

  3. Must be the media thinks the lives of us “average Americans” are so boring that we would want to hear all this stupid gossip about celebrities, politicians, etc. I think you hit the nail right on the head Mary Lee. This post was way better than anything I’ve seen on the TV news for ages!

  4. LOL You’re killin’ me LOL! It’s a terribly sad state of affairs on the TV. I began calling the TV our aggression therapy tool. We get free aggression therapy sessions anytime we want ’em. There’s even group sessions. All you have to do is turn it on, watch it for about 5 minutes, and let the aggression begin. “what a MORON!” “who CARES about what she did??!!” James Carville and Mary Matalin ….lol! That one is worth throwing something! We have contests on who can smile like John Edwards the best and for the longest. First place gets the remote control …. without batteries!

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