Thick As Thieves

The house is bursting with energy and none of it is mine.  The three Georgia grandsons, our daughter, and their puppy are here for the week.   Camp Granddad is going strong and yes, it’s a zoo, but s-o   m-u–c-h   f-u-n!!     Not that it’s all one big party.  Somebody around here has been pretty annoying. . . and don’t you just hate it when it’s your kid?!

No, no…not our daughter…or her boys. 

It’s Miss Piggy, who this week is reminding us why we nicknamed her The Little Psycho.  All of the neuroses from her lean and hungry years living in a rabbit cage in a dirty puppy mill have resurfaced with a vengeance.   Maybe canine psychotherapy would help, but since we’ve had her for five years now and haven’t gotten across the meaning of the word “COME!”  we’re not about to shell out what it would cost to get her de-nutted (mentally, I mean.)   Our dog is still sweet and gentle, she’s just…um…PIGGY!  Piggy of appetite and pig-headed.

Rootin', tootin', pootin', scootin', thievin', Psycho dog
Rootin', tootin', pootin', scootin', thievin', Psycho dog

She is obsessed that The Interloper–a sweet, exuberant Goldendoodle named Ivy– is allowed food.  Ivy’s home yard is not fenced in, so she loves running around ours.   There is plenty of shade and she spends her nights inside her kennel in the downstairs rec room.   Meanwhile, Miss Piggy spends her days searching Ivy’s kennel for chew bones and food of any kind.  She’s been caught so many times with her face in Ivy’s food bowl on the covered porch that we have banned her from the back yard during Ivy’s visits.  

In the meantime, Ivy is obsessed with Miss Piggy’s hindquarters and is either stealing a sniff or jumping over her in excitement every time she sees her.  I’ll give Miss Piggy that one–that would be a downer.  If she could roll her eyes…!

Ivy’s  boundless energy keeps her in constant motion and I believe she is cutting out some of the ground-level illegal strawberry and green apple trafficking around here.  The chipmunks and squirrels have been forced to move their business  to another level (fence top!) in order to stay in operation.   This may look like a tennis ball, but it’s an apple and soon, the core will be in our driveway.

Miss Piggy 001

This afternoon I took a pitcher of water and an apple outside.  I set the apple on the bench while I rinsed Ivy’s water bowl to refill it.  When I turned around, this is what I found:

Thieving, apple-eating Goldendoodle
Thieving, apple-eating Goldendoodle

Kleptomania is in the air around here.  Why else wouldn’t I have this:


…instead of this?

Used-to-be lily--now lily stub.
Used-to-be lily--now lily stub.

The culprit, when spotted, gave me the hairy eyeball:

thievin evil-eyed rabbit

Last night I went back to our bedroom and found 40 toes lined up in our bed, watching the College World Series on TV.  Somebody–make that some bodies!–had stolen my side of the bed.  I went to sleep in the guest room and woke to find 20 extra toes in bed with me.  

I’m planning a little thievery of my own; I’m going to try and steal a few winks.


3 thoughts on “Thick As Thieves

  1. cw

    Quite a menagerie at your house – human and otherwise!:)
    That visual of 40 toes, does tickle the funny bone! You deserve all the ‘winks’ you can get!!;):)

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