We’re singing an economic downtune from the beach-house-not on the beach. The last time we were here we encountered issues, like the droopy toilet tissue holder and the too-far-gone-to-fix air conditioner . Well, we’re back and are adding another verse to that song.
Just to recap, make certain you’ve added this addendum to your marriage manual: Never, ever tell your husband that a $20 toilet paper holder is broken on the same day he finds out he has to shell out for a new cooling/heating system.
That last time here, Dearly Beloved spent the better part of two days with his head wedged between the toilet and the vanity, working on the broken holder in a bathroom so small there’s no wall space for it, so it’s attached to the side of the vanity. I explained to him that I’d bought it from Home Depot Design Center for no more than $20 and could find one cheaper than that (note to self: scratch Restoration Hardware!) but what I got for my explanation was a $50 lecture on the importance of saving $20 whenever we can.
Let me hasten. . . HASTEN. . . to tell you that it was a faulty toilet paper holder (bad, BAD holder!) before Mr. Handyman starts adding indignant comments to my blog again. Because I’d purchased it at a Home Depot Design Center which is now as defunct as our air conditioner, the Home Depot folks said they couldn’t replace it (ponder that one, Pauline!) and suggested epoxy. The other option–replacing it– had been nixed by You-Know-Who, so epoxy it was.
DB returned home with a little tube of epoxy and a lot of confidence, telling me that if I wanted my car hung from the garage rafters, this epoxy could handle that, too. He assured me that he wasn’t gluing the holder to the wall, he was gluing the broken part inside it.
For his two days of work and tube of glue, DB could not pronounce the patient upright, but much improved, having “just a slight lean” when we left.
Perhaps the neighbors forgot to tell us there was an earthquake while we were away because we returned to find Mr. TP Holder’s condition had deteriorated to “seriously sagging” in our absence. I was hoping DB wouldn’t notice–I’m perfectly willing to use that box of Scotties beside the toilet for the rest of my life if he’ll just leave it alone, but no dice. (sigh) He was back on the case–which means back on the floor– again today.
With his little red tin of wrenches, he believes he has solved the problem. We’ve gone from this:
A tilt becomes an incline when it’s re-installed upside backwards. I’m wondering if I need to sit facing the tank now when I use it.
That other issue. . . the air conditioner? The contractor says there has been a delay of a few days on that one. . . .
He backed into it with a forklift.