Roll Reversal

We’re singing an economic downtune  from the beach-house-not on the beach.  The last time we were here we encountered issues,  like the droopy toilet tissue holder and the too-far-gone-to-fix air conditioner .   Well, we’re back and are adding another verse to that song.

Just to recap, make certain you’ve added this addendum  to your marriage manual:  Never, ever tell your husband that a $20 toilet paper holder is broken on the same day he finds out he has to shell out for a new cooling/heating system. 

That last time here, Dearly Beloved spent the better part of two days with his head wedged between the toilet and the vanity, working on the broken holder in a bathroom so small there’s no wall space for it, so it’s attached to the side of the vanity.  I explained to him that I’d bought it from Home Depot Design Center  for no more than $20 and could find one cheaper than that  (note to self:  scratch  Restoration Hardware!)   but what I got for my explanation was a $50 lecture on the importance of saving $20 whenever we can.

Let me hasten. . . HASTEN. . . to tell you that it was a faulty toilet paper holder  (bad, BAD holder!) before  Mr. Handyman starts adding indignant comments to my blog again.   Because I’d purchased  it at a Home Depot Design Center which is now as defunct as our air conditioner, the Home Depot folks said they couldn’t replace it (ponder that one, Pauline!)  and suggested epoxy.   The other option–replacing it– had been nixed by You-Know-Who, so  epoxy it was. 

DB returned home with a little tube of epoxy and a lot of confidence, telling me that if I wanted my car hung from the garage rafters, this epoxy could handle that, too.   He assured me that he wasn’t gluing the holder to the wall,  he was gluing the broken part inside it. 

For his two days of work and tube of glue,  DB could not pronounce the patient upright, but  much improved, having  “just a slight lean” when we left.

Perhaps the neighbors forgot to tell us there was an earthquake while we were away because we returned to find Mr. TP Holder’s condition had deteriorated  to  “seriously sagging”  in our absence.   I was hoping DB wouldn’t notice–I’m perfectly willing to use that box of Scotties  beside the toilet for the rest of my life if he’ll just leave it alone, but no dice. (sigh)  He was back on the case–which means back on the floor– again today. 

With his little red tin of wrenches, he believes he has solved the problem.  We’ve gone from this:

Bat 001

to this:

Bat 002

A tilt becomes an incline when it’s re-installed upside backwards.   I’m wondering if I need to sit facing the tank now when I use it.

That other issue. . . the air conditioner?  The contractor says there has been a delay of a few days on that one. . . .

He backed into it with a forklift.

3 thoughts on “Roll Reversal

  1. Epoxy! lol on the epoxy!! I’ve found more dried up syringes of “this’ll fix it” epoxy as alternative, one-time use hardware than I care to remember!! That toilet paper roll holder and that box of Scotties …….. teehee …. if you only knew our similarly “odd” positioned TP holder and “alternative box” situation at the beach … it used to come up in conversation at least twice during the summer, usually with morning coffee…. “can’t we get a new one? That one is old and ugly – it’s aluminum… like those antique ice trays we’re still using, and it’s dangling.” “A new one – are you kidding? A new one will cost an arm and a leg and will get yanked off the wall too. This one is just fine… it can be put right here….like this – and then we’ll patch the wall.” The TP holder is still there…. vertically, where it was placed on the door casing that is oddly positioned near the toilet. Before it got its permanent home, though, the Scottie box on the back of the toilet had taken on a sign “DO NOT MOVE THIS BOX!” I swear she would have used spray paint to mark that box if she could have found some : -) !!

    Every time I scroll up to re-read and see Epoxy and that TP holder again I LOL!

    1. merrilymarylee

      LOL at the sign! I understand the necessity of it ’cause nobody changes the roll on the dangly kind. That’s the kind we had before this one; I was trying to replace it with something so simple to change that I wouldn’t spend the rest of my life stuck on the toilet with a single square . . . . My kids used to sing “STRANDED! Stuck on the toilet bowl. . . what do you do when you’re stranded. . . and you don’t have a roll?!” (If yours sang it too, you probably know the second verse, which I won’t add here!)

  2. Pingback: Queen for a Day « Merrilymarylee's Weblog

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