Ready? Aim!

Baby mamas, I may have a tip for you on potty training your toddler boys.  Not just training them out of diapers, but training them in accuracy because let’s face it,  toilet cleanup is probably your job. . . and the pot can be the pits.

There’s a video clip showing what happened after some genius  painted a fly in the ceramic urinal in a men’s room.   The cleaning staff, especially, was delighted with the results.  The toilet rims stayed much cleaner because, completely unbidden, the guys all aimed for the fly.  The challenge of a hole in one, a bull’s eye…you know how much guys like to shoot at things, no matter what the weapon. 

In this case of early childhood training,  imagine the thrill for the unlucky souls on latrine duty. . . might that be you, perhaps?    No more bus station bathroom!  And for your (one day) daughter-in-law, what could be a better gift, other than sending Junior down the aisle with a toilet brush in his hand.

If it works for men,  perhaps it might work for little boys.  After all,  when it comes to being fascinated with their dillywhackers, age doesn’t matter with guys. It’s not just a utilitarian tool with them; it is a source of endless entertainment.  Even before they’re  able to sit up,  their little hands wander south during diaper changes. 

So why wouldn’t this work with The Urinators in your home?  You could, of course, get out those potty seats or drain those toilet bowls, and with porcelain paint, dabble in a target.  If flies seemed a little beyond  your artistic abilities,  you can paint a bull’s eye, a red dot, a circle…. whatever might inspire them to aim.  

If you find that a little drastic, wonder if this would work:   Get a rubber stamp with a boat, or whatever might be aim-worthy and stamp the image on some toilet paper.  Just one image per square, right in center of each.  You stand your mini-mightymouse in front of the toilet and explain that if they’ll peepee, they can sink the boat. . . then drop one square in the toilet bowl.  It’ll float for awhile, but they can’t dawdle too long or the boat will leave without them. 

I haven’t a clue whether or not it’ll work, but I think it sounds like something worth trying before resorting to the old pee-off-the-porch training.    No little whizzers in our house at the moment for me to float a trial balloon, so to speak.  Once upon a time, however,  I did have problems with a wee weewee-er  (who shall remain nameless.)

The trash can,  empty bottles, Dixie cups, his sister’s shoes. . . in his early potty training, he delighted in he marking his territory in any receptacle he could find.  To paraphrase Dr. Seuss. . .  Oh,  the places it would go!  One  day he  managed to accidentally get his pecker stuck during midstream in an empty  plastic hair conditioner bottle.   Oh, the scream of terror…the race down the hall with the bottle  bouncing between his little legs!  One squeeze of the bottle released him, of course, and also disabused him of the notion of any more creative peepees.

It was a tough time for his sister as girls are a little sensitive about wearing shoes which have been baptized by  little brothers even if they’re the expensive StrideRites she never liked to start with but which mommy paid big bucks for.    As I remember, the shoe incident occurred the same week I accidentally put a raw egg in her school lunch, having marked the wrong one as hard-boiled.  Any day now she could come out with her own version of  The Glass Castle.   A better mother would have had the shoes in the closet and the trash emptied.  Family therapy all around!  Forgive me, my little chickens!

While I don’t feel I must give equal time to poop, let me relate one of my favorite grandson stories which does involve the Big No. 2.  The little guy, potty trained, but still needing help with cleanup, called out from the bathroom, “Daddy?…”

“Yes, Son.”

Daddy, I love you,” he called again in his little froggy voice. 

Daddy beamed smuggly at Mommy and called back, “I love you too, Son.” 

A few seconds later. . . “Mommy?”

“Yes, Sweetie?”

“Mommy. . .  will you come wipe me?”

Toto Toilets has a nice low-flusher with a built-in bidet.  For the right price, perhaps they would paint a fly in it. 








One thought on “Ready? Aim!

  1. Iris

    Being somewhat of a craft ho myself, I might have to try the porcelain paint and/or stamped TP tricks! Fabulous ideas. I would seriously consider giving full custody to the baby-daddy and giving up all penises in general (peni?), if it meant never having to chisel crusted pee-pee off the porcelain rim again.

    And raw egg in the lunch box? Be proud that you were packing a lunch at all. That is good mothering! My kids eat the Frankenfood from the cafeteria everyday.

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